


my lucky strike

by fullsunrise



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, kiwon yeonan and other ships are there too but they're just cute not really Relevant, losers in love, occasional making out, sorn is a badass, they are just confused kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 21:15:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14144727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullsunrise/pseuds/fullsunrise
Summary: The one with the fortune teller, the enamored best friends and predestined love (or not).





	my lucky strike

**Author's Note:**

> i'm too lazy to chapter this so it came out HUGE hehehe 
> 
> tbh this whole thing turned out being a lot more extra then i expected. it was supposed to be a serious, angsty work. why can't i be serious and angsty for once. why.
> 
> disclaimer 1: i'm a brazilian high schooler so i know nothing about korean colleges or american colleges whatsoever so let's just pretend that in this utopic world i created the kind of dorms the boys live in actually exist lmao  
> disclaimer 2: again i'm brazilian and i speak portuguese so if my english turns out being GARBAGE well daphne i'm sorry i can't be perfect  
> disclaimer 3: yeonan and kiwon are like mentioned a couple times and the other ships are there somewhere i guess? lol anyway you came here for wooyu right? RIGHT?  
> disclaimer 444: i had already tried to post this as a chaptered fic before but it didn't work out for me so whoops i deleted it and yeah this is better
> 
> it's 3am omg this is not completly beta'd yet but i'm tiredHOPE YOU ENJOY IT ANywayyy!!

Yuto wasn’t even a fan of circuses.

He hated clowns. The jugglers made him anxious as they jumped from one side to another at the high risk of death, children were always screaming and throwing popcorn everywhere, and so on. The worst part, though, was Jung Wooseok, the only young man in the world that was still amused by that kind of entertainment. He dragged Yuto along with him to every single circus that came to town, and at the end of the show he convinced his best friend to go to the amusement park too, because the two events often happened together.

Not that he was afraid of it or whatever, okay.

To be honest, Yuto couldn’t care less about roller coasters, kamikazes, Ferris wheels, none of this crap. He just found it totally unnecessary to be hung upside down multiple feet above the ground, screaming as he tried to keep his soul inside his body, being swung around like a useless rag doll.

And, okay, maybe he  _was_  a little scared of it. Like a normal person. Nothing much.

But of course he would never, not even in a million years, be able to say no right to Wooseok’s cute face, because Yuto was a loser. Especially when his best friend seemed so excited, swaying the tickets in the air, announcing that they already had plans for that boring afternoon.

And what did Yuto do?

He laughed. He took the tickets. He didn’t even have to say yes because Wooseok never expected anything else from him.

It was spring break. Yuto would spend those weeks in the dorm, unlike the students who had gone home for a bit. Since a ticket to Japan would be unnecessarily expensive that time of the year, he chose to save money to see his family for a longer period on summer. He had Facetime’d his parents a couple of times to ease the homesickness at the back of his mind, and that was enough for now.

It would’ve been two really shitty weeks if it wasn’t for his best friend and current roommate keeping him company.

Wooseok didn’t really live far. His house was less than half an hour away from the university, and he visited his family constantly. Because of this, the younger boy had chosen to stay with Yuto in the dorm, since he didn’t miss his home enough to tolerate his mother and stepfather, who had been trapped in some kind of honeymoon phase since their marriage _two years ago_. It was cute, he admitted it, but kind of disgusting too, and Wooseok doubted he could endure two whole weeks of that.

“Isn’t this the same one from last time?” Yuto asked, analyzing the overly colorful tickets. He pointed to the picture of the circus’ cast and furrowed an eyebrow. “I swear I’ve seen this clown’s face before.”

Wooseok shrugged.

"It's quite likely? I don't know," he said, letting himself fall on his bed. “All clowns have similar faces.”

"Why do you find circuses so entertaining anyways?" Yuto questioned. "Since we got into college, like,  _seven months ago_ , we've been to six of them and they all look the same to me."

Wooseok sighed exasperatedly, looking surprised and annoyed. He reached out to snap the tickets out of Yuto's hands.

"You're an idiot who does  _not_  recognize true art," the taller complained, but there was a teasing tone to his voice. When he smiled a little, Yuto already knew what was coming. "I bet that if  _Hyunggu_  called you, you wouldn't complain at all..."

"I'm not complaining," Yuto interrupted, holding back an intense roll of his eyes. "I just asked you a question, idiot. And what does Hyunggu have to do with it, anyway?"

"Are you playing dumb now?" Wooseok laughed, tossing a cushion from his bed in Yuto's direction, but the boy caught it in the air before it hit his face. "I still have the pictures of your love kisses in the middle of the Shinwon's living room."

Sometimes, Yuto really wanted to sink into the ground.

He didn’t have many memories of Shinwon hyung’s last party (which was a current case when it came to the parties Shinwon threw, anyway), but he knew for sure that he had made out with Hyunggu at some point of the night. And if he forgot about it for a second, there were plenty of pictures all over his friends’ group chat to remind him.

To be honest, Yuto really didn’t care, and there wasn’t any kind of drama about it, just the silly jokes that were already expected. It had happened between the others before, and it had never been a big problem. He didn’t exactly remember _why_ he had done it, but he tried not to blame his drunk and needy self mind for some unimportant kisses. Hyunggu also had taken everything very lightly, and the other boys had found something else to laugh about already…

But of course Wooseok loved to remind him about it.  _Of course_.

"We were drunk and you know that," Yuto snorted, already full of the whole story. It annoyed him much more than normal when it was Wooseok teasing him about it at every given opportunity. "Hyunggu will end up getting all weird with me if you say those things in front of him."

Wooseok stared at him for a couple of seconds.

"You really  _are_ an idiot."

Yuto narrowed his eyes.

" _I_ am an idiot? Are you sure about that?"

"Who else would it be?"

The argument quickly turned into a pillow fight shortly afterwards, as it always seemed to be with all their arguments when they were too lazy to actually fight. Yuto won for the sixth time that week and it was only Wednesday. Not that he was counting, of course. Spring break was just too boring.

After they completely forgot about the stupid discussion (about five minutes later), they decided to have lunch at the restaurant where Hyojong worked before going to that damn circus, because their hyung provided infinite discount coupons for the two whenever they were too hungry, but also too broke.

Hanguk was the most popular Korean barbecue place among the college students around, but during break the place barely had any clients, and it wasn't different that day. Hyojong was off for the whole week to visit his mom, but they had enough coupons for the rest of the month, so they ordered the most expensive dishes the place had. They sat down at the small table they always used when the other boy’s weren’t around, the one near the TV that always had some dumb cartoon playing.

"The amusement park didn't come to town this time," Wooseok commented, sounding disappointed.

Yuto tried to hold back a sigh of relief and the smile that threatened to appear on his face. After a few seconds, he said:

"What a pity."

"Yeah," Wooseok sighed, but his sorrow didn't last long. His expression suddenly lit up, the kind of look you see on a child’s face when they’re about to start some rebellion. "But there's a new attraction on the circus, and we're definitely gonna pay for a visit."

Yuto felt something cold roll up along his spine as he saw the crazy look on his friend's face. From years of experience, he was afraid of Wooseok's unpredictable ideas, and knew all too well that nothing good could make the younger even happier than amusement parks.

"What are you up to?" He asked suspiciously.

"Me? Nothing." Wooseok took a sip of his soda to hide a smile. "It'll be fun, I promise."

Yuto sighed, shrugging as he filled his mouth with food and just let it go. Nothing could be worse than the kamikaze... Right?

(Answer=  _Wrong._ )

 

 

Clowns, jugglers, children out of control. Noise and pure mess all over the place, a colored tent hiding the daylight and trapping Yuto in that hellish turmoil. Wooseok was pointing at something that happened in the show for the whole time and the popcorn was too salty for his taste. It was just a typical afternoon at the circus.

Yuto could've been riled up about a million things just in the spawn of an hour, but Wooseok was so happy that he couldn't bother to be all bitter and moody.

The both of them had been friends for years, since Yuto was just a foreigner student in primary school and his parents still lived in Korea - they had returned to Nagano as soon as the boy entered college. Yuto and Wooseok became inseparable right away: both were newbies in town, too quiet to interact with the noisy kids, and found the other boys their age even more pathetic than themselves. They had similar tastes for almost everything. They sat together in class, at lunch, paired up at P.E. and in the Chemistry lab, most of the time listening to music together instead of actually paying attention because fuck Chemistry, they were going to be famous rappers one day. They even were part of the same shady manga club back then. People recognized them as  _Yuto and Wooseok_ , never knowing which one was the Japanese kid and which one was the other one, but it didn't matter, really.

The crucial difference between the two, though, was that while Yuto was quiet and calm, pretty shy even, Wooseok was quiet only around strangers, and absolutely  _diabolical_ _whenev_ er you got the chance to know him better.

He was the type that could plan a whole murder while sitting quietly in the corner at the back of the classroom without anyone realizing it, although it never really came to that extent. Wooseok liked to torment people with his devilish smile and could murmur dirty jokes in a soft voice as if it were no big deal. One time his parents had even taken the boy to a psychiatrist, convinced that they had raised a sociopath capable of driving all nannies insane even as a little child.

Fortunately, Wooseok was no sociopath. He just got bored and annoyed too fast, wasn't really good at dealing with feelings, liked to test people's limits in every way possible and found the results really fascinating. He was a real fan of bright lights and fun shows. A fan of circuses.

"I want churros." The taller one commented, looking down at his salty popcorn with sadness spread in his big eyes.

"This is the last performance," Yuto pointed out. "We can leave a little early and avoid a row full of hungry children."

Wooseok seemed torn between staying for the last show and satisfying his stomach, but it took him less than five seconds to decide that his hunger was more urgent. He pulled Yuto by the sleeve of his jacket and hurriedly walked to the exit, bending down to avoid getting in front of anyone - which was useless, of course, but at least he tried.

The mall's parking lot where the circus was set up was almost empty. A clown, still wearing his costume, smoked a cigarette by the little popcorn stall, obviously flirting with the salesgirl. The sky was clear and sunny, fresh air running through his already messy hair, all that was needed to make a day perfect.

But of course Wooseok  _had_  to ruin everything.

"Sweet milk or chocolate?" The short girl at the churros stall asked.

"Sweet milk," Yuto and Wooseok responded in unison.

When he already had the churros in hand, Yuto suggested they went to the mall to stare at those pair of expensive sneakers they both wanted but couldn't afford. But Wooseok seemed to have a greater idea. With the excuse that it was a surprise, he easily managed to drag Yuto to the west side of the parking lot, where there were a few stalls of those _hit the target and get a huge plushie_ type of games.

"Your great plan was to get a stuffed animal?" Yuto asked, pointing at the gifts with his chin. "I could buy one for you, it'll be better than spending money on these useless _—"_

"I don't care about the games," Wooseok interrupted, that look that screamed  _trouble_ spread all over his face. "C'mon, before those crazy children leave the show."

Yuto sighed, but he let himself be dragged by the arm, as he always did. They found a small tent made of rugs that seemed too dark and empty for the fun and colorful environment, with a white sign announcing the main attraction in hand-painted letters:

 

 

**CHONNASORN**

_FORECASTING / HAND READING / TAROT AND MORE !!_

_GUARANTEE YOUR LUCK RIGHT NOW !!!!!!_

 

 

Yuto twisted his nose at the exclamation points, but he liked the tent’s proposal even less. He was about to ask what the fuck it was all about, but when he looked to the side to complain, Wooseok was already walking towards the tent.

_Oh no._

He had no choice but to follow his friend, an impulse so common to him that it had already become an instinct to follow Jung Wooseok blindly in his stupidities. But Yuto had never really complained, which probably had always been his biggest mistake.

"Oh, customers! I knew you’d come!"

There was a woman sitting in a chair at the center of the tent. She was dressed up with common black clothes that made her seem like a rebellious teenager, but colorful, vivid makeup outlined her eyes, and gold piercings ornamented her nose, ears and lips completing the strange visual. Her bleached hair was loose around her shoulders, and her accent was undeniably Thai. Even though she just looked like someone that worked at Hot Topic, her friendly smile didn't reach her eyes, and Yuto felt extremely exposed as the stranger scanned him from top to bottom with cold eyes as he entered the place. She almost looked like a punk character straight out of some cheap American young adult fantasy novel, except that she wasn't white.

"That's what you'd expect from a fortune teller, I guess," Wooseok answered, smiling and giving Yuto a light nudge, beckoning him to sit on the chairs facing the strange girl.

There wasn’t much to that tent besides the stuff at the table in front of them: tarot cards, little colorful rocks that Yuto didn’t know how to name, posters about astrology spread around them and many more, much weirder stuff in wood shelves.

"Wooseok..." He tried to warn, tightening his lips, feeling hesitant for several reasons.

Yuto wasn’t really found of supernatural stuff, okay. Call him a scaredy cat, he doesn’t care. But fortune tellers certainly weren’t his favorite type of entertainment.

"Don't be so stiff, dear." The woman advised. She winked at the shorter boy and added, "I don't bite or do any kind of harm, promise. I only reveal what can be revealed!"

It took at least five minutes for Yuto to get rid of the urge to run away as soon as possible. He didn't believe in fortune tellers whatsoever, and he surely didn't believe in the possibility of some dumb previsions making any difference in his life, but maybe, just maybe, he was afraid of the consequences. Even so, he decided to relax a little and let Wooseok have his last moment of fun before Yuto dragged him back to the dorm.

"You have to pay for the consultation first," the so-called psychic warned, holding out a delicate hand. Yuto didn't move a finger, but Wooseok handed a lot of  _wons_ to the stranger, whose eyes glittered at the sight of money. "Perfect! Now we can start, but I need your names to continue. Mine, by the way, is  _Sorn_."

After a few minutes, they were told that Wooseok's personal arcane was the Hermit one, and Yuto's was represented by some kind of Tower.

 _Whatever_ that _means_ , he thought to himself.

"Wooseok has an absent father," Sorn mused aloud, tapping a ringed finger on her chin. She rummaged the cards on the desk once, rearranging their position. " _Oh_ , I'm really sorry for your loss, sweetie."

Wooseok and Yuto shared an amused look, the first one smiling wide at his friend's open mouth. Maybe it was just a big coincidence, but...

"How do you know my father passed away?" The younger questioned, his hands clasped together in anticipation, like a child watching a magician take the rabbit out of his hat.

"Isn't the name  _fortune teller_ enough to give you an idea?" Sorn laughed lightly. "Your arcane is actually very specific. It also says that you must learn to respect human laws, boy, don't be so inconsequential."

Yuto almost choked laughing, but received a menacing look from Wooseok that immediately shut him up.

"Now... Yuto's." The woman looked at the boy through long lashes. "You really are a piece of work, uh? Your arcane suggests that you are a born pessimist. Try to fly a little higher, yes? It also tells me about an important event at the age of sixteen, but it’s not clear what it is about, so I assume it's too personal. Very few people know this secret of yours, right?"

 _Oh oh_.

Yuto tried to fake confusion as Wooseok furrowed his brows at him.

How could this woman knowabout _that_?

"But anyway." She ran her hand over the table, picking up the cards quickly and shuffling them with mastery. "Since it's a double consultation, nothing's fairer than checking what the cards have to say about the both of you together. Should I assume that you're lovers?"

If he was still eating his churros, Yuto would have choked right then and there. Wooseok looked as surprised as he did, eyes wide as he laughed it off in that nervous way of his before shaking his hands in the air dramatically and saying, "No, you shouldn't assume any of this, thank you."

Sorn smiled thinly.

" _I see_ ," she tilted her head, spreading the cards across the table once more. She leaned forward, carefully reading the information, and took a lot of time to do so, as if facing a difficult mathematical expression. Yuto was already impatient and about to get out of there when she suddenly lifted her arms and exclaimed, "Ah, as expected!"

The two customers leaned forward curiously, but of course they couldn't understand that weird tarot language.

"What?" The taller one demanded. "What is expected?"

"One moment, dear." Sorn spread both hands on the table, palms facing upwards, seeming to ask for something. "I need to read your hands to make sure the cards got it right."

Wooseok and Yuto looked at each other, having a brief discussion in silence.

_What have you gotten us into?_

_I just thought it would be fun!_

_Well you thought_ **wrong** _, genius._

Even so, to make Wooseok's money worthy at least for the entertainment, they offered their hands, the palms still half-greasy from the churros. Sorn caught them without hesitation, looking more excited now, as if they boys' fates made her enthusiastic.

"Perfect, perfect!" She almost screamed. "Exactly as I expected, yes! Oh, congratulations."

"Congratulations?" Yuto babbled, suddenly nervous about the situation. "I'm afraid to ask why..."

Sorn giggled.

"The lines of your destiny are intertwined in many ways, it's really fascinating," she explained, sounding crazy, but pretty sure of herself. "You see, not only did the cards tell me about your life-long friendship, but the lines of your life interlace to the point that it's impossible to distinguish one from the other! And a subtle blend of my observations showed me something even better: your hearts are destined to travel the exact same way."

There was a moment of silence before they both exclaimed, surprised,

"What?"

"What are you implying?" Wooseok questioned, sounding defensive.

"That you are meant to be lovers  _on a spiritual level_ ," Sorn stated, seeming unshaken by the boy's skeptical tone. "Eternal love is a thing as rare as winning the lottery, but that's the only possible explanation for what fate shows me about you two. I'm happy for the both of you!"

The tent was silent for several seconds that seemed like centuries before Wooseok let out a loud laugh. He shook his head as if he'd just heard the best joke in the world and stood up abruptly.

"That's impossible and  _absurd_ ," he emphasized, already pulling Yuto by his jacket. "Do you say that to every two people that visit you or what? Come on, Yuto, we can hear this same speech from any robotic fortune teller on the internet for  _free_."

And Yuto, who found that statement equally impossible and absurd, just shook his head. He got up and went to follow Wooseok as he rushed out, but not without making a small bow before, feeling bad for his friend's melodramatic and kind of rude behavior.

Sorn, however, seemed imperturbable. She laughed a few times as she waved to the boys' backs, shouting happily,

"See you next time, Yuto!"

Because she knew full well that next time wouldn’t take too long, and she couldn't wait for it.

 

Before Yuto could tell, it was already time to go back to school.

It was the middle of the semester. As soon as he set a foot in the first (and worst) class of the week, he felt his soul being forcibly dragged back to hell. He tried to focus on the fact that summer was only a couple months away, the second term would end soon and he’d be able to go home, enjoy some real holidays for once.

Morning classes were five hours of medieval torture, mainly because Yuto hadn’t been able to sleep more than two hours that night. He was able to survive purely thanks to a can of Red Bull that he had stolen from Jinho hyung before leaving the dorm.

“You look kinda dead” Shinwon had said during one of the morning breaks. “It’s making everyone depressed.”

And Yuto knew that Shinwon was kind of right even though it was a joke, but he ignored the comment and moved on his way, Red Bull can in hands and all.

Lunch time was always a mess when the hyungs from the dorm in front of theirs were around, which was basically every single day. Yuto had noisy friends, and even though he didn’t know most of them for more than six or seven months – except for Hyunggu, Shinwon, Hyojong, Jinho and Hwitaek – he already considered them as close friends.

When Yuto sat between Wooseok and Hyunggu on their usual table – that is, two tables pushed together so all of them would fit there -, there was already a tray with that day’s dish and a bottle of orange juice waiting for him, and Wooseok tilted his chin, saying:

“You’re welcome”.

Yuto smiled, thanking him.

“Then the cops arrived and the mood was really ruined for the rest of the night” Hyojong was saying, apparently in the middle of telling a story.

“And you weren’t arrested?” Shinwon asked.

“Why would he?” Hwitaek arched a brow. “It was just because of the loud music at the party.”

“I don’t know, he just seems suspicious all the time”, the other shrugged. “If _I_ was a cop, I’d arrest Hyojong hyung just to make sure.”

“I thought you were visiting your mom?” Yuto questioned, tilting his head in confusion.

“She was the one that threw the party”, Hyojong clarified, smiling. “What about you, losers? What did you guys do during the break?”

Shinwon grumbled about staying with his family in the countryside, Hyunggu had spent those weeks with his mother and sister, Jinho and Hongseok went to visit the older one’s parents together, Hwitaek had to take care of his younger siblings while his parents were travelling and Yanan spent the break at Changgu’s family’s house.

When it was Yuto’s turn to tell what he had done – sleeping, playing videogames, getting out of the dorm just twice -, he was interrupted.

“Oh, you and Wooseokie were alone in the dorm” Hyojong commented, dispensing the subject with a wave of his hand. “You don’t need to say anything”.

Yuto rolled his eyes emphatically.

Fortunately, Hwitaek elbowed Hyojong in the ribs, which made him frown a little from pain.

“Thanks, hyung” Yuto smiled at Hwitaek, that shoot him a thumbs up back.

“We went to the circus”, Wooseok said, ignoring the comment and laughing at whatever he was about to say. “Actually, there was a fortune teller there and…”

 _Oh, no. He is_ not _gonna talk about this. No, no, no._

But of course he _did_ talk about that, because apparently Wooseok really was an idiot without any hint of sensitivity. He looked rather excited to expose how ridiculous the fortune teller had sounded when she predicted a future where the both of them would be together.

“…in a _spiritual level_!” He finished, mimicking Sorn’s exaggerated tone.

And, for some reason, deep down that really annoyed Yuto. He didn’t quite know which aspect of the subject bothered him the most: the unnecessary memory of that crazy psych, Wooseok’s sarcastic tone while telling the story, or how Yuto himself was too troubled by the whole intertwined fates thing. But he swallowed this senseless irritation, shoving it aside, and filled his mouth with his lunch faster than usual to avoid any kind of questioning.

The hyungs, on the other hand, stared at the both of them, their expressions divided and kind of impossible to decode. Yuto preferred to look away.

“Why aren’t you laughing?” Wooseok questioned, sounding offended. “It was the stupidest thing!”

There was an awkward silence while the older ones exchanged looks.

“Because it wasn’t funny” Yanan said bluntly, which made the others giggle lightly.

Wooseok narrowed eyes at that – plus the obvious flush all over Yuto’s cheeks - was the cue for them to change the subject. Changgu, Hongseok and Shinwon started to chatter about the new Marvel film, which they had been doing even before spring break.

The rest of the lunch was just an overlapping of stories to update themselves about the days they were apart, some screams and almost friendly arguments about irrelevant stuff. It was always like that. Yuto wasn’t hungry anymore, so he pushed the rest of his lunch away in the table.

“You barely ate.” Hyunggu said in a low tone, the others too busy discussing about where they should buy pizza for the next Pizza Friday to pay any attention to them.

“Indigestion,” Yuto explained.

It looked like Hyunggu was about to add something, but the bell rang right then and everyone stood up, pushing the pizza issue aside.

“We have class now,” Changgu said, already pulling Yanan by his arm and waving goodbye. “See you at home, boys.”

As he left, Hyunggu tapped Yuto’s back and casted an empathetic glance toward him, but he didn’t say anything else. Yuto, however, chose not to think about what the look meant, even if he had a good idea, and only shrugged when Wooseok stared at him questioningly, seeming to have picked up on the interaction.

“What’s the matter?” The taller asked, tossing his bag over his shoulder as he stood up. “You were quiet. Was it because of what Hyojong hyung said?”

Yuto pressed his lips together, annoyed at Wooseok’s occasional lack of empathy, but couldn’t think of anything to answer. The other took the silence as a yes.

“You shouldn’t care about what he says,” he continued, walking beside Yuto and reaching for his hand with his own. “You know hyung is stupid and makes even more stupid jokes.”

“I know that.”

Wooseok smiled.

They went to the Advertising class like that, in a silent atmosphere that was unilaterally comfortable, holding hands for no apparent reason.

Like the real best friends they were.

 

The small living room/kitchen/dining room of the dorm where Yuto lived was the meeting place after the last classes of the day, at least for those who lived there. It was where they met for having dinner, watching TV and unconsciously competing over who had the worst day, with the worst classes and the worst teachers.

Sometimes, if they had drank too much Coke at dinner and were too hyped to sleep, they would end up watching a movie on the Netflix account they shared.

There was a couch that was usually taken over by Jinho, two armchairs that Changgu and Yanan had found in some cheap garage bazaar for a good price, and for Yuto and Wooseok, the coffee table - which was also the dining table and the for-everything-else table – had to be pushed back to the corner so they could spread out on the floor with a lot of cushions to make it more comfortable.

That night was exactly like that too. Except for the two boys sprawled on the soft carpet, with Wooseok serving as a pillow for Yuto, all the hyungs were already sleeping deeply at certain point. Jinho snored lightly with his face tucked between the cushions and Changgu and Yanan were cuddling in a strange way, but also sleeping like babies.

And they hadn’t even watched half of _Your Name_ , the movie Yanan had chosen for tonight.

Only the youngest two remained focused, even though they were also very sleepy. Yuto tried to ignore the way Wooseok unconsciously touched his hair, telling himself it was no big deal. Because it _wasn’t_ , really.

“I bet how many milkshakes you want that she dies in the end,” Wooseok whispered.

“I bet that, by some miraculous coincidence, she survives,” Yuto retorted, casting a defiant glance at Wooseok.

They shook hands lightly, “Deal.”

For the record, Yuto absolutely _hated_ Yanan’s movie choice.

Not that it was a bad movie. The problem was just how good it was, the kind of movie that almost made two supposed grown-ups cry their eyes out. It was impossible to look away even as Yuto felt the tension and discomfort increase slightly every time _fate_ and _love_ were mentioned. And, shit, they were mentioned too many times to his liking.

He had to remember to give Yanan hyung a cold shoulder for a couple days without any explanation as a brief revenge for that.

When the movie finally came to an end, Yuto allowed himself a loud, relieved sigh. He got up quickly, startling Wooseok with the sudden movement, but the latter also followed him.

They stood there, stagnant in the middle of the room, and stared at each other in the dark.

“Uh…”, Wooseok cleared his throat.

 “Great movie,” Yuto prompted, fiddling with his earrings unconsciously.

“Yeah, great” Wooseok nodded. A hesitant smile spread across his face slowly. “Too bad it’s all bullshit, though. I mean, those things don’t exist or even make sense. _Destiny_ is just… romanticizing coincidences.”

Yuto tried not to think too much about it. He really tried, because he didn’t have the patience to be annoyed at Wooseok right now. He forced a sleepy laugh and shook his head.

“Damn, Wooseok, it’s just a movie.”

There seemed to be a dialogue hanging around them, something that pulled Wooseok’s eyes to any spot in the dark room that wasn’t Yuto’s face.

“Bedtime,” he said in a low, faint voice, obviously dotted with things he didn’t want to say.

They decided to leave the hyungs sleeping like that, afraid of ending up disturbing their sleep. They went to the bedroom they shared as Yuto decided aloud which flavors of milkshake he’d buy with his newly won bet.

Their room wasn’t what you'd call tidy, but it was a mess they knew how to manage. It was a simple room too, entirely painted in white, and the biggest ornament was some kind of scrapbook mural for messages and stuff, left by the old owners, that occupied a large part of one of the walls ever since they had moved in. They were too lazy to get rid of it, so it stayed there.

Wooseok, always too bored, had filled the mural with loads of old and recent photos, stupid stickers that he found along the way, notes about random things he considered important, and other bits of memories of the two of them.

Yuto hadn’t put anything on the mural, but he liked to spend minutes observing the things Wooseok considered relevant enough to be stored there. Even after barely seven months they had spent in the campus, there was already a collection of photos of the two together at a couple of parties, in the cafeteria, in the dorm at movie nights, and in dozens of other places.

“Yuto?”

Yuto only realized that he had been staring at the mural when he heard Wooseok call for him. He turned around, caught by surprise, the tips of his ears burning.

“Yeah?”

Wooseok hesitated.

“The way the hyungs acted earlier…” He was speaking to the wall, his eyes focused on the white surface rather than the boy he was actually talking to. His voice was small and unsure. “Do you think we should, I don’t know, stop going out by ourselves? Is it bad that we stay together all the time? You didn’t… You didn’t seem very pleased.”

Yuto bit his lower lip.

That was a topic that always seemed to be implicit between them from the beginning, mainly imposed by others. The boys were always teasing them, saying that friends didn’t go on dates all the time by themselves, and of course they denied everything until the very last minute, because, really, there was nothing to admit. After all, they had never done anything that friends wouldn’t do, because that was what they were. Friends.

“Why would we do that?” Yuto asked, offended by the suggestion. “We’re friends, Wooseok-ah, we know that and we don’t have to prove anything to them. You know how the hyungs are, but they don’t want to separate us or anything. And neither do I. But if you want—”

“No! I don’t,” Wooseok interrupted, finally looking up at Yuto. There was something like urgency in his expression. “Oh, what a relief. This is good, very good. Sorry, I was afraid that… I don’t know.”

“Are you alright?” Yuto murmured.

Wooseok sighed.

“Yeah, of course. We’re friends after all, right? We’re friends and nothing else matters.”

Without daring to look up again, Yuto nodded and sneaked under his covers while Wooseok took all the mess out of his own bed so he could lie down as well, turning off the lights before doing so.

_We’re friends and nothing else matters._

Yuto rolled in his bed, turning to face the wall. That was their friendship philosophy. It was a safe place to be, even if it wasn’t comfortable all the time, at least it was kind of stable. His friendship with Wooseok was the kind of thing he could lean on when his feelings got too confused and out of control, because the only thing that was certain, independently of the variants, was that he wouldn’t lose Wooseok’s friendship. He _couldn’t_.

They were friends. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought about it.

Especially that damn fortune teller.

 

 

 

It didn’t last long, that fragile calmness and safety.

Later, as he tried to clear his foggy mind completely, Yuto would blame Changgu hyung for that mess.

They were fine, really. The topics of fate and love seemed to have faded away between Yuto and Wooseok, or at least been ignored, and soon that would be just an inside joke like any other. Yuto couldn’t wait for this moment.

_Hey, do you remember that day when a psychic said we were meant to be together? Bullshit!_

But of course, as the Universe seemed to enjoy frustrating Yuto's plans lately just to laugh at his stupid face, his joy lasted the equivalent of a fly’s life. And, see, it isn't much.

It all started when Changgu arrived at the dorm with a basket full of red roses on a Thursday night. Yuto, Wooseok and Yanan were in the living room, Jinho doing his homework on the coffee table. Yanan’s eyes widened immediately when Changgu got in, fearing the possibility of his boyfriend buying a hundred of roses to express his love for the Chinese boy. And considering how _romantic_ Changgu was, that was more than likely, actually.

“Oh, God,” Yanan said. “Changgu what have you—”

“I’m gonna hand flowers out in the campus for an awareness campaign!” The boy said, not seeming to notice the absolute horror in Yanan’s eyes, which soon turned into sheer relief. “It’s against bullying, isn’t that great? The student council president is in charge of everything.”

With _the student council president_ he meant Hwitaek hyung, who always seemed excited to be the president of everything he could, sometimes simultaneously. The council, the choir (which caused a fight with Jinho in middle school before they became friends), the Literature club when he didn’t even like books that much. Yuto wouldn’t be surprised if he was the actual president of South Korea one day.

But, returning to the disaster, Changgu was wrapping red roses in crepe paper and gluing neon pink paper with anti-bullying phrases to their stems.

“Look, we’re married,” he said, holding a small handful of roses, some kind of poorly arranged bouquet as he pointed between himself and Yanan, who had been helping him. “Someone take a picture real quick.”

Jinho laughed as he took a picture with his own cell phone and sent it to their group chat with a funny (or at least he _thought_ it was funny) caption.

To be fair, maybe Wooseok _was_ half-sitting on Yuto’s thighs. Maybe they _were_ sharing a bowl of noodles, and maybe Yuto _was_ sort of almost asleep on Wooseok’s shoulder, but that wasn’t a big deal. No. But surely the situation would’ve been very different if they weren’t in _those_ conditions.

The real disaster began when Changgu said:

“Hey, let’s test something.”

With all eyes drawn to him, he stood up with the decadent bouquet still in his hands, took a few steps to distance himself from the center of the room, and turned his back to the others.

And then he threw the fucking flowers across the room like he was some kind of newly married bride.

And of course, _of course_ that that ugly but good intentioned bouquet full of anti-bullying messages _had_ to fall right onto Wooseok’s lap, almost hitting his bowl of instant noodles. 

There was a moment of tense silence. The roses stood there, abandoned on the youngest’s lap, all of them staring at the flowers with wide eyes, as if it were an activated grenade.

Yuto really felt like he was about to explode, his face swallowed by heat. He was pretty sure that his cheeks were too obviously red and fought the urge to cover them with his hands to hide his embarrassment.

It was Changgu who broke the silence, laughing with satisfaction at his own joke.

“I think the Universe is trying to tell you something!” He laughed, throwing himself into his own chair again. He added, “It seems like you’re the next, guys, congratulations!”

“Shut up, hyung,” Yuto and Wooseok said at the same time, coming out of their embarrassed trances.

Wooseok threw the flowers away over his shoulder, and the plants hit the floor with a low din. He looked more afraid and embarrassed than angry at the situation. His face was red, perhaps even more than Yuto’s, and he stared at his own dinner as if searching for something very complex in the noodles. Wooseok slid to the empty side of the couch, placing some good inches between himself and Yuto.

“Wah, what a bad mood,” Yanan complained, returning to help his boyfriend with the flowers.

“You used to be more fun when you were little kids,” Jinho commented, dramatically putting his hand over his chest. “Guys, I think they’ve reached puberty.”

Yuto almost rolled his eyes, but he was too busy scratching his face to hide the flush over his cheeks.

“And you used to be funnier, _hyungs_ ,” Wooseok countered, adding the honorific at the end just for the sake of irony.

Yuto forced a laugh. He didn’t quite understand why he had to force himself do to do it, but he did it anyway, and the two of them received a few suspicious glances. Changgu ended up picking the flowers up from the floor, blaming Wooseok for hurting such innocent creatures, and they returned to not paying attention at the two youngest.

Except for themselves, of course.

Yuto played with his ear piercings as he stared at the ground. Wooseok hesitated, his posture rigid, his eyes glued to the spot on the floor where the flowers had been.

“I hate roses,” Yuto ventured, not really meaning to, because he had nothing against roses, but at that moment Wooseok seemed to have.

“I know, right?” The taller one agreed in a half whispering, half shouting tone. He rubbed his face. “I have to do some research for my essay.”

And just like that, he got up, put the barely empty bowl of noodles over the sink and went into his room, clearly avoiding any eye contact. Wooseok seemed to have forgotten about the fact that he actually shared the damn room with Yuto. The other boy just laid there, sunk onto the sofa, uncertain between following his best friend or letting him be, because he suspected that the atmosphere would be weird and uncomfortable if he dared to follow him.

 _It’s just a flower, for fuck’s sake_. And it had been just a joke too, identical to all the other thousands of jokes their hyungs made, because Wooseok and Yuto were their absolute favorite targets.

But there was something about what Changgu had said that bothered him, and he knew Wooseok shared this feeling too.

_I think the Universe is trying to tell you something._

Personally, Yuto thought that the Universe was just telling an unfunny joke, like some kind of weird uncle making everybody uncomfortable. Or maybe a joke that they didn’t want to understand. An annoying subliminal message that Yuto was purposely overlooking because, man, fuck the Universe, honestly.

“Is he still mad at you about Hyunggu?” Yanan asked suddenly.

Yuto blinked out of his thoughts, “What? Mad? About Hyunggu?”

Yanan tilted his head, looking confused at Yuto’s confusion. He arched an eyebrow and looked at Changgu, who was staring at him with a warning sign flashing in his expression.

"Um... Nothing. I was just wondering why you guys are acting weird, that’s all.”

Yuto had to hold a sigh.

“There’s nothing weird about it,” he said, and he was afraid that he was trying to assure himself more than anyone else. Yuto sighed heavily. “I’m going to bed”.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth,” Changgu said brightly, as he always did.

"We’re going to the supermarket tomorrow morning!" Jinho remembered. "Don’t wake up late.”

Yuto whined as he walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and then went into the bedroom.

He found Wooseok lying on his bed, listening to some loud music in his headphones that stopped as soon as he saw Yuto. Research, yeah, of course. The boy watched, but said nothing as Yuto threw himself on his own bed and wrapped himself in the soft blankets.

The silence that filled the room was claustrophobic. Yuto wanted to ease it, but didn’t quite know how.

Even so, he tried, “Wooseok?”

“Yeah?”

Yuto hesitated. The words that stormed in his head made little sense to him, almost none. He didn’t understand what he wanted, what he meant, what to do. So he just gave up.

He swallowed the words dryly, “Good night”.

And Yuto tried to convince himself that there were no such things as signs of the Universe or of any other kind, nothing like predestined love, no such nonsense. And, obviously, no such thing as true psychics. People like Sorn lived based on vague predictions and generic fates, and Yuto didn’t want to let his head wander around places he'd already blocked out simply because of some cheap circus attraction.

"Good night, Yuto," Wooseok replied, his voice soft with sleepiness.

Yuto smiled, but the other didn’t seem to notice, perhaps not even himself.

He rolled over in bed for a few minutes before his doubts and insecurities succumbed to tiredness.

 

On some weekends, when there wasn’t much to do on campus or piles of content waiting to be studied until Monday, Wooseok liked to go home to spend the time off with his family.

He used to invite Yuto all the time, but it became so ordinary to go to the Jung’s house together that invitations were superfluous. Yuto, for lack of something better to do on his own, simply followed his best friend, as usual. After all, Wooseok’s mother adored him and homemade food was a good alternative for the everyday noodles, so why not?

That Friday afternoon, Yuto arrived at the dorm ready to sink into his bed and sleep for the entire weekend or so. The only ones who were already home were Wooseok and Yanan, laughing at some cartoon on TV, the hyung in his pajamas and Wooseok in the middle of an afternoon snack.

“Hello,” Yuto greeted, stretching to relieve the tension in his muscles as he entered the room. “You guys arrived early today.”

Wooseok smiled and Yanan waved without taking his eyes off the TV.

“I’m going home,” the youngest said. “Are you busy this weekend?”

Yuto was quick to shake his head, trying not to make it too obvious that he was exhausted to the max and ready to sleep two days in a row. He hurried to the bathroom to get ready quickly, already understanding the invitation implicit in Wooseok’s question.

It took about twenty minutes for him to be presentable, his hair almost neat, his backpack on his shoulders with just the necessary, and a cup of coffee that Wooseok had made in his hands to try and gain some energy. They said goodbye to Yanan and headed to the bus stop in an almost comfortable silence.

Yuto enjoyed the ride to Wooseok’s house. There was something very familiar about the place itself, too. He wasn’t the type to be attached to places and material stuff, since he was moving around all the time because of his parents’ job instability, but there was something special about the Jung’s house. Yuto had spent a lot of his teenage times there, sometimes more than in his actual home, playing videogames, reading manga, watching anime or simply doing nothing at all.

He didn't mind being bored, as long as Wooseok was around.

“Don’t be surprised by the Christmas decoration,” Wooseok warned as they got off the bus. “My mom spent tons of money on decorations last year and said it’d be a shame to use it just for a month or so and that Christmas is a capitalistic invention anyway so she doesn't have to stick to the schedule.”

Yuto laughed, because that was really something that Mrs. Jung would do. Christmas decorations were her ultimate hobby even if she didn't care about baby Jesus, and she even promoted neighborhood contests for the best ones – which she almost always won, of course. Wooseok used to say that his mother was the original Mrs. Betty Lou Who, just more successful.

When they arrived, they were greeted by tight hugs, kisses on the cheeks and a couple of “We missed you, Yuto! Oh, hi, Wooseok”. Yuto soon noticed the colorful lights hanging around the house, the large tree in the living room decorated with multiple bright ornaments, red candles, an elaborate porcelain crib near the fireplace and...

“Look!” Wooseok’s younger sister, Jiwoo, shouted, pointing at something above their heads. Yuto blinked, confused as he raised his eyes to find a single mistletoe hanging over the place where he was standing, right beside Wooseok. Jiwoo arched an eyebrow like the true preteen she was. “You know what that means, right? It’s Christmas tradition!”

Yuto looked away, sighing an embarrassed “Ah.” Wooseok, on the other hand, took a step backward, out of the mistletoe’s reach.

“If it’s not real Christmas, then it doesn’t count, Jiji.” He excused, smiling at his sister.

The girl narrowed her eyes.

“You’re no fun.”

To Yuto’s relief, Mrs. Jung came to the rescue quickly, summoning everyone for dinner. They hurried to the kitchen, where they were awaited by a mini banquet of _real not completely industrialized_ food that made Yuto sigh deeply.

“I missed real food,” he remarked as he sat down, after greeting Wooseok’s stepfather politely.

“You’ve been eating instant noodles every day in college, haven’t you?” Mrs. Jung asked, pointing a spoon accusingly at them. “I told you to feed yourselves properly! Am I gonna be forced to pack your lunches every day like in elementary school? _Aish_ …”

Yuto smiled, Mrs. Jung’s concern making him all warm inside despite the scolding.

“We’re all right, mom,” Wooseok said, smiling too. “Our food is just not as good as yours, that’s all.”

Mrs. Jung seemed satisfied with the answer, smiling smugly at herself.

“And how are the other boys like?” Wooseok’s stepfather inquired. “Your roommates, I mean.”

“The hyungs are fine,” Yuto replied.

Dinner went on like this for the rest of the night, the Jungs wanting to know all about the details and news of the boys’ college life and in the dorm, and the two responding willingly until there wasn’t any more food and Yuto’s joy was replaced with tiredness once again.

After them insisting in helping to wash and dry the dinnerware, around midnight Mrs. Jung ordered them to go to sleep so they could rest correctly for once. Too tired to argue, they obeyed and went upstairs to Wooseok’s bedroom, the most familiar room in the house for Yuto.

Luckily, Yuto was too sleepy to notice the awkwardness in the air as he closed the door behind him and the two of them were absolutely alone for the first time in the day. Wooseok stared at him for a while as they put their backpacks down somewhere on the floor and began to prepare the only bed in the room – double, big enough to fit two giant boys – so they could sleep. It wasn’t uncommon for them to share Wooseok’s bed, and Yuto had declared domain over the right side years ago.

“It’s been a long time since I slept here the last time,” he remembered, recalling the last Chuseok, when he had accidentally gotten drunk in front of Wooseok’s family and passed out on that very floor.

“In high school you almost lived in my room for a couple years,” Wooseok remarked, kicking his shoes away and sneaking under the duvet.

Yuto laughed, following the other while saying, “I was too lazy to go home.”

It was a lie. The truth was that Yuto just liked Wooseok’s room more than he liked his own.

Wooseok snorted, as if he didn’t believe it, and picked his cellphone up from the bedside table to check something. Yuto was about to turn aside and sleep already when the younger one caught his attention once more.

“Shinwon is planning to throw another party in the group chat,” he commented, showing the phone screen. Wooseok raised his eyebrows and leaned toward Yuto. “I wonder if this time you’ll have the guts to finally ask Hyunggu on a date or something?”

Yuto blinked.

 _Unbelievable_.

Maybe it was sleepiness shuffling his emotions in the wrong way, or maybe he was just really pissed off, but irritation heated up in his stomach immediately and he sighed, “What’s wrong with you, Wooseok?”

“What?” He laughed. “I’m just supporting your crush on Hyunggu like the good friend I am.”

“I don’t have a fucking crush,” Yuto muttered, turning away from his best friend to look at the empty room. “And you know what? I wasn’t that much of a jerk when you decided to suck Shinwon hyung’s face at the Christmas party in high school.”

“God, it’s just a joke!” Wooseok exclaimed. “What’s the matter with you lately?”

They were silent, angry without knowing exactly why. Wooseok set his cellphone down again irritably, also turning his back on the other and crossing his arms over his chest.

It took at least five minutes for Yuto to come up with a response.

“It’s a stupide joke, Wooseok,” he explained, speaking more to the empty room than to his friend.

“You didn’t seem that bothered when the others were talking about it,” Wooseok argued.

“The others aren’t you, Wooseok!” Yuto snapped, turning to the other again.

The younger also turned to face Yuto, wide-eyed and red-faced.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?!” He demanded, and the tone in his voice was annoyed, but his face was lost in uncertainty and perplexity, as if he were afraid of the answer.

The problem was that Yuto had no idea what the hell that was supposed to mean.

He only knew that when Wooseok joked about the whole situation with Hyunggu, there was always this twinge of almost cruel provocation, as if he wanted to blame Yuto for something, as if he wanted him to feel bad about a stupid mistake when he was drunk. And Yuto didn’t like that. But he was much less fond of the fact that, deep down, he felt guilty – not for himself, not even for Hyunggu, but for _Wooseok_.

He swallowed, leaning his head against the pillow, preferring to face the ceiling full of phosphorescent stickers in the shape of stars and planets and suns than facing Wooseok.

“We shouldn’t have gone to that fortune teller,” He sighed, feeling frustrated and too tired, the irritation inconsistent in his chest.

“Come _on,_ Yuto, it was just a cheap prediction,” Wooseok said, still sounding annoyed. “I can tell two total strangers that they’re soulmates, claiming I’m a great psychic or something, and of course they’re gonna be uneasy about it for a moment. We shouldn’t make a big deal out of this.”

Yuto held his breath. He was tired and knew all too well that Wooseok was right… But something still bothered him.

“I’m tired,” he muttered, hating the idea of arguing with Wooseok, even though it seemed to be too late to avoid some conflict.

“Great,” the other said. “So, let’s sleep already.”

That was a good idea.

Luckily, the bed was large enough so that they could move away from each other and pretend the other didn’t exist. Yuto, who had slept there dozens and dozens of times before, now felt that the soft mattress was too uncomfortable.

Just like that whole situation.

 

Saturday consisted of spending the day on the couch playing video games with Wooseok and Jiwoo, stopping only to eat what Mrs. Jung prepared to them along the day and, late in the evening, to drink some soju and eat Japanese peanuts with Wooseok’s stepfather while watching a football match on the old TV.

“This is what I call alpha male activity,” Wooseok had said mockingly as they climbed upstairs, ready to go to bed, half drunk and half tired.

Yuto ignored it, hiding an accomplice smile. He’d been doing this all day, and Wooseok seemed to struggle while pretending he didn’t care, but every now and then Yuto would catch a look of almost regret on the other’s face as stared at him when he thought Yuto wasn’t paying attention. Even if a small part of him wanted to end that cold shoulder game and ignoring his own resentments instead, there was another part that was too prideful and kind of wanted to make Wooseok feel bad just for just a little while.

On that day, they slept without exchanging many words other than an automatic _g’night_. Fortunately, the little amount alcohol in Yuto’s blood was enough to not let him feel bad about this for a long time and he fell asleep quickly.

He woke up the next day with someone shaking him by the shoulders. Yuto blinked away from sleep as he shoved away the hands of whoever was pulling him out of his precious Sunday morning rest.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Wooseok staring at him with uncertainty in his expression. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question: _What the hell is more important than my sleep on a Sunday morning?_

“Um, I just… I was just thinking about going downtown today,” Wooseok said, scratching the back of his neck in an attempt to try and disguise his hesitation as Yuto dragged himself into a sitting position. “Y’know, to buy some clothes and… If you wanna…”

Yuto smirked, "I'll go with you, Wooseok.”

The younger sighed loudly, “Oh, great. That's great.” _Relieved_.

"Why did you think I would refuse?" Yuto questioned, holding back a bigger smile.

He thought that maybe he already knew why, but he couldn’t let the opportunity to see the blush that spread across Wooseok’s cheeks pass by.

“You gave me such a cold shoulder yesterday that I thought you _hated_ me,” Wooseok snorted, throwing his arms up in a dramatic way that elicited a sleepy laugh from Yuto. Wooseok smiled too, the hesitation on his shoulders softening slowly. He sat down on the bed at Yuto’s feet and added, “Don’t do this to me, Yuto-yah, you know how dependable I am.”

“You mispronounced _needy_ ,” Yuto corrected.

“Whatever,” Wooseok wheezed. “If you’re mad at me, you can punch me in the face or something, I don’t care, but at least pay attention to me.”

Yuto laughed even more, feeling his neck burn lightly. Wooseok was too close and he felt the sudden urge to reach out and pull the boy into a hug to reassure him. But he didn’t do it.

"I'm not mad at you," he murmured instead, playing with the threads of the comforter to keep his hands from acting out of his control.

When he looked up, he found Wooseok staring back at him with such a tiny grin on his face that it was barely even there.

"Wonderful," the younger one murmured back before averting his eyes and standing up again. "Then I'll wait for you downstairs. For, um, breakfast.”

After an impromptu breakfast and a prolonged goodbye to the Jungs, the two of them got their things and set off. Yuto had to borrow a hoodie from Wooseok since he hadn’t brought many clothes in his backpack, but it wasn’t as if either of them cared anyway.

“You have no fashion sense,” Yuto said, already hauling Wooseok down the sidewalk towards his favorite shop in town when they got to the downtown area. “Then let me choose some decent clothes for you.”

“I’m not your Barbie for you to dress up,” Wooseok complained, but there was nothing but amusement in his tone.

“If that’s the problem, I can call you Ken.” Yuto shrugged as they stepped into the brightly lit room. “Or Max Steel.”

Wooseok winced.

Almost all the clothes in the store were either too black or too tight, sometimes both, so it wasn’t a surprise to Wooseok that this was Yuto’s favorite shop. They wandered around the two floors of the place – that, by the way, was absolutely huge – and Wooseok showed plenty of clothes that appealed to him, but Yuto refused everything with several grimaces of disgust and some “You have no taste, really.”

Yuto could be quite _hostile_ when it came to fashion, especially after he got into college and decided to major in fashion design. Wooseok thought it was cute.

“Hey, wait,” the older boy said, stopping in the middle of the leather-jackets-that-look-all-the-same session.

Yuto pushed Wooseok to some corner that had caught his attention, stretching his arms around the other to pick up a piece behind him.

“Um…” Wooseok gasped, arching an eyebrow at Yuto’s arms around him. “Why are you hugging me?”

Yuto looked surprised, only then realizing that he had accidentally circled Wooseok’s hips with his arms. He quickly pulled away, trying not to sound too flustered as he pulled a leather jacket out and swung it in the air.

"Funny," he sneered, pushing the jacket towards Wooseok. There was too little space between them, but Yuto felt like he couldn’t move his legs without tripping over them, so he just kept himself in place. “This… This one is cute.”

They stood there for a few seconds, staring at each other in limited and suddenly too hot (or maybe it was just their cheeks burning) space, before Wooseok finally picked up the jacket. But he also didn’t move his feet away. When the boy sighed in frustration, Yuto felt his breath hit his face.

“We shouldn’t have gone to that fortune teller, uh?” He repeated Yuto’s words from last night, but now there was a bitter smile on his face and his eyes, which stared at Yuto, looked heavy with _something_. Before Yuto could attempt to interpret that look, however, it was already gone as Wooseok stepped away, pointing at the clothes he carried. “I’ll try these on, wait for me right there.”

And Yuto was left alone, standing in the middle of the shop with his breath out of rhythm and his face reddened.

It all seemed so surreally awkward between the two of them and he had no idea how to deal with it. He had _never_ known.

It had been awkward a couple times before.

They had been friends for a long time. They had discovered many things together, including their sexualities, had shared stories about bad first kisses and later about even worse first times as they drowned their frustrations in wine stolen from Yuto’s parents’ mini-fridge.

Both knew very well that they’d rather be with each other than in some failed relationship – or any relationship at all. But that never seemed to matter very much until someone pointed out how much they would make such a cute couple or even mistaking them as one. All it took was someone to look at them suspiciously while they were too close, too intimate, and everything became uncomfortable again, because neither of them knew how to convince _themselves_ that they were just friends.

They also knew that the truth should be simple. It was something they repeated over and over as a sacred mantra. They were just Yuto and Wooseok, with nothing to add or subtract. They were friends and they were fine, because it was no big deal.

Right?

(Answer= _Wrong_ )

 

“Free chocolate sample! Come and buy more at Kake & Kream! Free sample, everybody!”

Seoul’s downtown could be very troubled, even on a Sunday afternoon. There were tourists taking pictures of tall buildings and themed cafes around every corner, people gathering to watch street shows and dozens of pamphleteers ready to get in the middle of someone’s way to offer some unusual service.

Yuto and Wooseok never missed a free sample that encountered their way. When the taller boy sighted the girl delivering chocolates, he pulled Yuto immediately toward her, repeatedly saying “Candy candy candy”.

“Ah, here it is, special for you,” the woman offered, smiling so big that they felt obliged to smile back. “Come and buy more at Kake & Kream!”

After picking up the flier and the chocolate pack, which was incredibly elaborate for a free sample, they sat on one of the benches across the small square. Wooseok was carrying some bags of the clothes Yuto had forced him to buy, and the other carried their backpacks, but they soon left everything aside, taking the free chocolates as a priority.

“I can’t decide whether free samples are the weakness of capitalism or just one of its superfluous tricks,” Wooseok commented as he assessed the pink package.

Yuto rolled his eyes.

“Just open it,” he said, but it was interrupted by the surprised look on Wooseok’s face as he finally opened the package. “What is it? Does it look too bad?”

“Well…” Wooseok blinked, reaching out and handing the chocolates to Yuto, who picked them up with an arched eyebrow. When he saw the content, he felt a burning sensation rise from his neck to his cheeks and ears. He swallowed a sigh and cursed at the Universe in silence.

 _Special for you!_ , she had said.

It seemed like that day’s embarrassments would never end.

It was a small set of chocolates in the shape of little hearts, each one with a “I  YOU” engraved on them. Inside the package, a delicate satin ribbon said “Happy Valentine’s Day!!!” in red letters, even though Valentine’s Day was, like, ages ago.

“This is absurd,” Yuto ranted.

“She thought we were...” Wooseok began.

“Yeah,” Yuto sighed.

There was a moment of awkward silence as they stared at the floor, uncertain of what to do now. Yuto was about to suggest they got rid of the chocolates when Wooseok stood up abruptly.

“This is getting out of control!” He shouted. The boy looked up, screaming into the sunny sky as if he could somehow strike some kind of celestial force with his sheer anger. “Stop it right now! It’s not funny!”

Yuto couldn’t help but laugh out loud, despite people looking at them as if they were crazy – which _perhaps_ they were -, but it was more of a nervous laugh than anything.

“I hope that fortune teller goes bankrupt,” Wooseok grunted, throwing himself on the bench next to Yuto and putting one of the chocolate hearts in his mouth angrily. “I hope she gets sued for being a fraud! Let’s sue her, Yuto!”

Between nervous laughter and an uncomfortable silence, they ended up eating all of the chocolates anyway, even if they weren’t of the best quality. Maybe it was because they couldn’t really bear to look at those dumb messages of congratulations to the couple and other stupid, mellow things, so they swallowed them to pretend they didn’t exist in the first place. They were _never_ going to buy more at Kake & Kream, that was for sure.

After returning to the dorm, they did what they could to pretend that everything was normal, that there wasn’t such an awkward urgency in the air around them, so concrete it was almost unbearable. Fortunately, they managed to sit on the living room’s floor so they could watch some Captain America’s movies without exploding from awkwardness. They were home alone, since the others were too busy planning Shinwon’s next party on the dorm in front of theirs.

And they stayed there, as if nothing strange had happened that day. They even pretended to be amused when people in the movie made jokes and stuff, but it was obvious that none of them was connected enough to the film to care about anything on the screen.

**Somewhere between _Winter_ _Soldier_ and _Civil_ _War_ , Wooseok sneaked into Yuto's lap, looking at him with big puppy eyes all the time, as if he expected Yuto to scold him for it. But of course Yuto did nothing but hold his breath and pretend there wasn’t a pile of nerves about to implode in his chest when Wooseok laid his head on his shoulder and put one of his arms around Yuto’s hips.**

**With an uncertain look on his face, Wooseok offered his little finger to Yuto. In an even more hesitant tone, in a voice so small that it hardly sounded like Wooseok’s, he asked, “Friends?”**

**Yuto, for some reason, hesitated. He swallowed hard and wavered, but not for long enough to let Wooseok notice his indecision, no matter where it came from. He wrapped the other's little finger with his own, sealing a promise in the most genuine way possible. “Friends,” he ensured.**

Wooseok smiled, satisfied, preventing Yuto from taking his hand away. He intertwined their fingers as he turned to watch the movie (or pretend he was watching it) again, adding only for the sake of tradition, "Nothing else matters."

 

 

Yuto really didn’t expect to be back at that tent, but apparently he was the only one surprised by his sudden wish to visit a psychic.

When Sorn saw him standing there, petrified like an idiot and not knowing exactly where to put his own embarrassment, she opened a smile that wasn’t at all surprised. It seemed more like a silent and less smug _I knew it_.

"I was waiting for you, sweetheart," she said, her smile widening as Yuto risked an approach. “Sit down!”

The boy hesitated. He looked around, trying to find some divine sign telling him that this was a bad idea, that he should turn around and walk away immediately, move on with his life as if those thoughts had never crossed his mind. But all he found were tarot cards, posters announcing predictions for the year of the dog, and strange amulets he couldn’t identify.

 _Chill the fuck out_ , he told himself, taking a deep breath as he sat down, facing Sorn. He had gone there for a reason after all, right?

The woman stared at him, but Yuto didn’t know what to say. Or rather, he didn’t know _how_ to say it.

Long story short: Yuto had had a terrible epiphany. He had been avoiding Wooseok for almost that entire week; he'd leave the dorm early to prevent from meeting him in the morning every day, turning off his phone for most of the time with the excuse that his charger was damaged, having lunch alone in a corner of the university’s backyard while pretending he was busy with a project and had been running away from all the classes he attended with Wooseok, including the ones from that very Wednesday afternoon.

On that day, while he was killing time ( _hiding_ ) in a small cafeteria around campus when he should be accompanying Wooseok in Economics, he had the sudden realization that something was terribly wrong since that weekend at the Jung’s house, and he needed to find out what it was. Or maybe he already knew it. Maybe he just needed someone to throw the words right into his face.

So he bought a double espresso in order to leverage his courage and walked to the nearest mall. And there he was, with an almost empty cup of coffee in his hands and anxiety scratching him like a wild animal trapped inside his ribcage.

 “You don’t have much movement around here, do you?” He spoke without thinking, only to break the awkward silence.

Sorn arched a carefully painted eyebrow, “Did you come here to criticize my business?”

Yuto tilted his head.

“No…” he stammered. “Actually, I’m not sure why I’m here.”

 _Lie_. Yuto knew very well what he was going to do there. He also knew that he had a serious problem when it came to _admitting things to himself_.

“How about a full consultation, and in the end, if you’re satisfied, you pay me, huh?” Sorn suggested, the look on her small face suggesting she knew more than she dared to show. “Just because I’m feeling nice today.”

So, well, Yuto accepted. He wasn’t prepared to ask the question whose answer frightened him so much, so what else could he do?

Sorn tossed her colored pebbles around, read his luck in the cards, analyzed Yuto’s hands as if they were the answer to the Universe’s deepest secrets, and even studied his astral map, “just to be sure,” she said. Be sure of what, Yuto had no idea.

“Interesting, hmm,” she hummed the whole time without giving any relevant information to Yuto, who preferred to remain silent despite the nervousness in his stomach. He felt stupid now that the adrenaline had settled down inside his veins, but the restlessness in his stomach still demanded answers and solutions that he didn’t know where else to get.

“Honey, first of all, you need to relax,” Sorn warned, frowning in disapproval as she finished consulting the cards once more. “Your aura is seething with anxiety, it almost hurts my eyes to look at you.”

Yuto sighed. _Aura_? _Really_?

“Second of all, you need to stop keeping your feelings to yourself with such devotion,” Sorn advised, rolling her eyes. “It’s frustrating, and if you keep piling it up, at some point it’ll blow up and it’s not going to be pretty, you know. _Third of all_ , yes, you’re definitely in love. Fourth, you’re probably going to fail in Calculus this semester and—”

“Wait, _wait_ ,” Yuto choked, leaning forward in shock. “What did you just say?”

Sorn blinked, “Fail in Calculus, it says here that you’re having trouble with numbers—”

Yuto rolled his eyes. He _was_ having trouble with Calculus, indeed, but of course that wasn’t what worried him the most.

“I meant about,” He hesitated, clutching the paper cup in his hands as he tried to keep his breath steady. “That part where you said I was… In love.”

“Oh yes, of course!” Sorn clapped her hands together, as if the topic made her excited. “That friend of yours, the Hermit?”

Yuto swallowed, “Wooseok.”

“Yeah, that one! You’re in love with Wooseokie,” she said like it wasn’t anything special. Like Yuto wasn’t about to have a mental breakdown right there. “But why is this a surprise? Your cards suggest that you know about it for a long, long time. Maybe it has something to do with that sixteen-years-old thing? Um…”

If he were standing, Yuto would’ve stumbled. There was a loud siren going off in his head. He was coming too close to dangerous territory.

The boy shook his head.

“These cards of yours tell you a bunch of things, don’t they?” He commented, pretending he didn’t feel like throwing up his lunch, because, really, what else was there to say?

Sorn laughed.

“You have to read between the lines and make a couple of connections with the reality of the situation, honey. The cards only show you the way,” she clarified, whispering as if she was telling a secret. “The Universe tells us everything we need to know, but in its own language.”

Yuto looked at the table, at the colorful cards that seemed to accuse him of something.

“What does the Universe say about Wooseok?” He risked the question.

“I can’t tell you about someone else’s fate when they aren’t around, child.” She explained, sounding almost guilty. “It’s against my principles.”

Yuto shook his head, “I understand.”

As a present, he got a full horoscope – the week would have a lot of twists, Sorn assured, and it’d be nice if Yuto wore yellow for luck – and another piece of advice, “Just be honest with him and, most importantly, with yourself.”

Yuto nodded, promising he would try, but not quite trusting his own words. Feeling half numb inside, as if he’d just been electrified too hard, he handed the money he had in his pocket and bowed for a few seconds before leaving, with renewed respect for the psychic.

 _Just be honest_.

He wished it were as easy as the adverb suggested.

 

 

 

“Why the hell are you wearing a yellow sweater?”

It was the fourth time that Yuto had heard that same question that night. This time, it was Jinho who asked as they climbed the elevator in their way to Shinwon’s apartment.

He took a deep breath, “I just thought it was a nice sweater.”

 _And I really don’t want to challenge my luck today_.

They were on their way to Shinwon’s party, which celebrated something irrelevant. Shinwon just made up any excuse to throw a party every month, and everyone knew that, so they had stopped caring about what was being celebrated since that day he decided to commemorate his second failing in Biochemistry last semester.

“Why didn’t Wooseok come with us?” Changgu asked, pouting as the metal doors slid open.

Yuto bit the inside of his cheeks hard as he hurried out of the elevator, “He came to help Shinwon hyung earlier.”

Or at least that’s what Wooseok had said when he left the dorm in the morning. It had sounded like an excuse, of course, but Yuto knew he shouldn’t ask much from Wooseok, especially since he had been ignoring the younger boy all week. Yuto also knew he shouldn’t care so much about Wooseok and Shinwon because it was out of his best friend privilege to wish with every molecule in his body that they weren’t making out again or something. But of course it was already out of his control, and now he was basically trying not to freak out.

 _You’re in love with Wooseok_.

Yeah. No shit, Sherlock.

When they walked into Shinwon’s apartment, the first thing that came to Yuto was the music, the same old-fashioned, dancing garbage as ever – some weird remix of a Harry Styles song, which was just _so_ Shinwon. The huge living room was already packed with people, the place decorated with colorful lights and neon colored ribbons hanging from the ceiling. Ko Shinwon was too rich for his own good, the penthouse apartment too big for a single college student with no roommates, all the more so because he almost never used the place (for some reason, he preferred to stay at the university dorm, where he shared a room with Hyunggu, rather than in his own house). The only times he willingly used the apartment were for his parties and some occasional huge movie nights in the living room with the ten of them.

When he was younger, Yuto used to think he would never be the type to go out to drink freely and lose his composure after a few shots. It took just one Shinwon party, right in their first week at university when they reunited with their hyungs from middle and high school, to discover find out that everyone gets a little drunk and out of control once in a while, and it wasn’t a big deal.

He rummaged around the room, looking for his other friend(s) while Jinho, Changgu and Yanan were already splitting up to enjoy the party in their own way, patting Yuto on the back and advising him do go have some fun too, as if they felt the tension on his shoulders – which they probably really did.

The boy took sighed, holding his breath in hopes of appeasing the anxiousness in his stomach. Yuto had set a plan for that night from the day he visited Sorn, but it all had gone wrong when Wooseok disappeared from sight, rushing to Shinwon’s arms like the needy puppy he was.

Yuto snorted, sinking into one of the stools near the Xbox where some drunk people played (or tried to play) Just Dance, hoping that the second hand embarrassment would make him feel better about himself.

“You look strained.”

Yuto jumped in his seat, almost falling off the stool when Hyunggu appeared out of nowhere on his side. The boy laughed at his reaction, and Yuto smiled back, putting his hand on his chest for the dramatic effect.

"Hyunggu-yah," he greeted.

“Yuto-yah,” the boy in the purple hoodie returned the greeting, grinning broadly, which was usual for Hyunggu, and taking the sit beside Yuto. “Cool sweater.”

“Thank you,” Yuto smiled smugly. “Finally someone who appreciates my fine fashion sense.”

“Actually, I was just being nice, it’s horrific,” Hyunggu refuted, pushing a glass of red colored liquid in Yuto’s direction. “I brought strawberry vodka for us.”

Yuto smiled, defeated, thanking him as he took the glass, ready to swallow everything in one gulp. He liked Hyunggu’s company, had always liked, but not even the boy’s bright mood could sweeten that bitter feeling in his tongue.

 _But maybe vodka works_ , he thought faintly.

"You're not doing very great, are you?"

The question caught Yuto by surprise. He pressed his lips together and shrugged, but didn’t answer.

“I’ve seen that face a million times before,” Hyunggu went on, sighing, and took a quick of his own. “It’s the Wooseok Face.”

“What are you talking about?” Yuto arched an eyebrow.

“Whenever something about Wooseok is bothering you, your lips turn downwards and you get that _sad puppy_ vibe, I call it the Wooseok Face,” he explained, humorous. “Do you want help looking for him?”

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“No problem,” Hyunggu said, already standing up and holding out his free hand to help Yuto to do the same. “Lately, I feel like I owe you guys something.”

“What?” Yuto blinked in surprise. “ _Why_?”

Hyunggu's voice dropped to a barely audible whisper under the loud music.

“I swear Wooseok has been planning my murder,” he said, and it was probably a joke, but his eyes were wide open. “You know he has always scared me, right? Even when we were little kids! And now whenever I see him, he looks like he’s trying to rip my heart out of my chest with his eyes or something. You think I should apologize for kissing you?”

Yuto stopped walking immediately. He was glad for the dim light of the place, for he felt his ears burn.

“Apologize?” He asked, trying to sound humorous. "Was it that bad?"

Hyunggu gasped, averting his eyes, his pale face visibly flushed.

"No, that's not it. It's just…” He bit his lower lip. “Wooseok barely talks to me these days, and Jinho hyung says you guys are acting weird. I feel bad for some reason.”

 _Yeah_ , Yuto thought. _Same_.

“That doesn’t make sense, Hyunggu.” He said instead. “Wooseok and I are friends; the only permission I need to kiss you is _yours_. Don’t feel guilty.”

There was a moment of silence, or as much silence as you can get in the middle of a bunch of drunken youngsters and a horrible remix of Drag Me Down playing on several speakers.

Hyunggu sighed after a few seconds, seeming to be persuaded. “If you say so… But, no offense, let me stay in the friendzone from now on, okay?”

Yuto had to laugh, grateful that Hyunggu was genuinely nice and easy to deal with compared to some of Yuto’s best friend(s). He started to walk again, followed by the other, and promised his friend that he would keep his hands to himself next time.

They hurried through the mass of bodies, searching the corners for some too tall guy, until they found Shinwon and Wooseok near the makeshift bar at the kitchen counter, chatting half-heartedly with other people from university, laughing lightly about something and…

Hugging each other.

Or, more specifically, Wooseok was hugging Shinwon by the hips as a needy child, which almost made Yuto want to look away and turn around to walk right out of the apartment and go spend his nerves on something else.

“Ah. This is awkward.” Hyunggu said vaguely.

Yuto held his breath. He tried to ignore that sore feeling that hit right in the middle of his chest, because he hated being jealous of Wooseok, but he felt his face burn too, giving him out.

Before he could turn around and get more vodka, maybe the whole bottle and sink into the self-pity hole with full mastery, someone called his name.

“Yuto-yah!”

It was Shinwon hyung. He gestured for the younger to approach, and, because Yuto had no way of escaping the situation, he just gave in. Wooseok watched him approach them; his gaze filled pure teasing, as if he wanted to see Yuto get angry, jealous. He swallowed that feeling that burned in his throat, too proud to let it show.

"He's drunk," Shinwon announced as he took Wooseok's arms away from himself. "Since four in the afternoon, can you believe?!"

"I'm sober now, hyung," Wooseok whined.

"I was saving him for you." Shinwon ignored the younger. I can’t hear him whimpering anymore, please take him away, thank you.”

And with that being said, Shinwon pushed Wooseok toward Yuto, forcing him to hold the tall boy in his arms so he wouldn’t fall over while grumbling about how ungrateful Shinwon hyung was.

"Take your problems away from all these happy people, do us a favor," Shinwon continued. "Seriously, figure it out already, it's pathetic. And you, Hyunggu, we're going to get drunk together, come on!”

Before Yuto could even have some sort of reaction, Wooseok was already dragging him by the wrist, not looking at him, but looking determined.

“Where are we going?” Yuto questioned, trying to act normal despite all the alarms that went off in his head.

"To the usual place," Wooseok said, sounding tense, almost stiff.

Yuto swallowed hard.

The usual place was an old, small, dusty balcony outside the apartment. Since they'd gone to Shinwon's first party, Wooseok had grown bored and gone out to look for a quieter place – that's how he found one of the windows of the living room led to a small space to which no one paid any attention, just perfect for them.

Yuto remembered the first time he’d been there, sitting on the ground, looking at the opaque sky – because Seoul’s sky never had any stars – and talking about how things were much simpler when college was just an irrelevant future.

“Wooseok, you’re drunk,” Yuto warned while Wooseok gestured to the window for Yuto to jump over it and get to the balcony.

“Not enough,” He rolled his eyes, muttering. “Let’s go… Please.”

Yuto felt like he shouldn’t.

He jumped over the window anyway, because there were very few things that he wouldn’t do if Wooseok asked nicely, no matter how stupid they were.

When they slid into the balcony and settled themselves, sitting down in an strategic spot of the dusty ground, everything around them felt very distant. The party, the bad music, the people, the joy. They were a world apart now, the Universe around them painfully silent and tense. They sit facing each other, leaning against cold walls, their legs kind of interlaced and their gazes locked together.

Yuto sighed, because Wooseok’s face was the most beautiful thing he had ever put his eyes own even when they were a little blurry by the alcohol, by the doubt and by other feelings he never dared to interpret.

“Why did you come to Shinwon hyung’s house earlier?” He asked, his voice little and uncertain.

Wooseok laughed, but there wasn’t much humor in his voice.

“He’s trash at giving advice, but he’s a good listener,” He said, and he almost sounded sober, but there was still a little twinge of intoxication in his tone. “It doesn’t bother him when I came here just to ramble about my problems.”

Yuto ran his hand through his hair and sighed in frustration.

“It doesn’t bother me, either,” he whispered, more to the wind then to Wooseok. Even so, the other boy heard him.

“But I couldn’t talk about this specific problem with you,” Wooseok explained, lowering his eyes to his fidgety hands over his lap.

Yuto crinkled his nose.

“Why not?”

“Because the problem _is_ you,” Wooseok laughed nervously, dryly.

Yuto blinked slowly. Anger and surprise competed for the spotlight in his chest, and he had to divert his eyes away from Wooseok to try and deal with both of them at the same time. But he couldn’t.

“ _Wow_ ,” was all he could say, very apathetically.

Wooseok buried his face in one hand.

“That’s not what I mean, oh, _shit_.” He cursed himself. “I mean that… I don’t know. Sorry, Yuto-yah, I’m drunk.”

Yuto laughed. It was a warmer laugh, with much more fondness than he intended to express, because he was angry about a million different things (most of them were at his own fault), but he let it slide anyway.

“You’re angry at me, aren’t you?” Wooseok asked, biting his lower lip nervously. His expression had softened now, and Yuto at least knew the other could never be angry at him for long too. “You’re ignoring me again, I— I think I did something wrong, I know I must’ve done, but you’re never around enough to tell what it is.”

Yuto felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. He remembered all those times Wooseok had said how much it hurt him when Yuto ignored him without explanation and felt like going back in time just to slap his _oh I'm so afraid of conflicts_ self in the face.

“I’m just… really confused. I’m sorry,” Yuto mumbled. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Are you sure? You said that last time too,” Wooseok recalled, still not lifting his face up. “You say this all the time. I know I must have done something wrong at some point, uh?”

"Wooseokie," Yuto called him, reaching out to hold Wooseok's face between his hands, catching the boy's attention and making him look up to face Yuto. He felt his heart make those radical maneuvers that he hated so much (he didn’t), but ignored it and smiled weakly. "You don’t have to apologize, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong this time,” _It just made me fall in love with you, asshole._ “And if you do, I’ll make sure to tell you. I’m sorry. I’m a mess.”

He wasn’t ready to take his hands off Wooseok's face, but he needed to, because it had been too long since he had been staring at his best friend and he certainly couldn’t take much more of it without making even more of a mess, but Wooseok seemed to have other ideas. He held Yuto's hands and pulled them away from his face as he leaned forward, towards Yuto's face. And then he came closer. Too close. So, so close.

Yuto _panicked_ , and his heart stopped when Wooseok closed his eyes and left a kiss... on his left cheek. Too close to his mouth to be considered a friendly one, but still not a true kiss. It must have lasted only three seconds, but that was enough to make Yuto die and resurrect about seven times in the process. It left his cheeks all heated up and his heart pounding like crazy in his chest.

"Don’t ignore me," Wooseok whined, returning to his place on the floor and pouting. "I said I'm needy, didn’t I?"

“You have Shinwon hyung,” Yuto teased, the words leaving his mouth out of sheer adrenaline.

“I don’t need Shinwon, asshole,” Wooseok sighed, closing his eyes. “I need you.”

Yuto knew his heart shouldn’t be so loud and out of control. It wasn’t the first time Wooseok had kissed him on the cheek, right? He had always been a bit clingy, especially when tipsy, and it shouldn’t be any surprise. It really shouldn’t. But even so, his heart seemed to dance to the sound of one of those bad EDMs, Chainsmokers style and all, and he couldn’t stop staring at the ground as if he could sink there magically, preferably for eternity.

Yuto also knew that he shouldn’t be in love with his one and only best friend and that the Universe was only making a big fool out of him by raising those hopes that he had buried with so much effort to the point of forgetting them for a while. But he didn’t care. Not now.

"You’re such a poet when your mouth is shut, Wooseokie," he assured him, sighing and cursing himself for being a soft fool when it came to his best friend. Maybe more than it was recommended for a best friend, in fact, but he chose to ignore that matter for now, as he had done a lot in the last days. In the last years, to be honest. "Shakespeare himself, actually. Keep it up.”

Wooseok slapped Yuto's head weakly, and he answered with another laugh.

"I'm so tired, Yuto-yah," Wooseok sighed, using Yuto's shoulder as a pillow and throwing one of his arms over the boy in a lopsided hug. He buried his face in the curve of Yuto's neck, and his breathing tickled the boy’s skin. "Can I ask you to stay here with me for the rest of the night?"

Yuto held his breath.

"Yeah," he said quietly.

“Then… Stay here with me?”

Yuto didn’t answer. He tightened the hug around Wooseok's hips and searched for the other's hand, entwining his fingers as a silent assurance that he would stay. He felt Wooseok’s smile on his neck and had to suppress one too.

"I'm tired," the other repeated, trying to draw attention to that specific information.

Yuto arched an eyebrow.

“Tired of what?” He asked.

"Many things," the younger one said, raising his head once more. "Of college, of feeling guilty, of wanting to punch Hyunggu's face every time I see him close to you... Many, many things.”

Yuto laughed without much conviction.

"He doesn’t deserve this, and you can’t even kill an ant. Like, literally."

"I know," Wooseok snorted. "But I'm so angry. Or maybe jealous? It doesn’t matter.”

Yuto bit the inside of his cheeks, afraid of the turns the conversation was taking. He wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not with tipsy Wooseok, even if slightly, not in the middle of the forgotten and dusty balcony of Shinwon’s apartment, definitely not with Bitch Better Have My Money playing in the background.

"Just... Shut up for now, Wooseok," he said, as sincerely as he could muster. “Please.”

Wooseok answered with silence, which Yuto greatly appreciated. They stayed like that, one still recovering from drunkenness and the other getting groggy with his incoherent feelings. Yuto didn’t care about taking care of Wooseok, so he just stayed there, even as the grip on his hand diminished and the other fell asleep on his shoulder, because he didn’t want to go back to the party anyway. He wanted to stay there.

He barely noticed when he himself was dragged into a nap induced by Wooseok’s warmness and the fatigue in his mind, using the other's head resting on his shoulder as a pillow. It was late and he was tired in many ways, including physically.

They were awakened hours later, suddenly, when Hyojong yelled from the window, clearly still drunk:

“Breaking news, the sun is rising and two idiots are sighted in the skies of Seoul!”

Slowly, Wooseok was the first to move to get up, clearly sober now and probably already awake for some time before Yuto, since the other boy was lying completely on his lap now. The two stood up between stumbles, their hands clasped together to support each other.

Wooseok scratched the back of his neck.

"That's embarrassing," he commented, looking away from the orange horizon, where the sun really was rising. "It's been a while since we cuddled, um?"

Yuto allowed himself a laugh. While Hyojong still shouted something about Yanan throwing up all over Shinwon’s Xbox, the two of them sneaked inside again. The apartment was almost empty, except for Shinwon's honorary guests - which meant, basically, his friends. Hwitaek and Jinho ate cereal without milk on the the living room, Hongseok watched cartoons with Hyunggu asleep on his lap. Changgu helped Yanan take the pills for indigestion and Shinwon grumbled about his brand new video game.

Everyone seemed too distracted by their own hangovers to care about Yuto and Wooseok, who sat on the couch a few inches away. Yuto seemed to be the only one totally free from any hint of hangover, and realized that he had no regrets on having wasted that party to be cuddling with Wooseok on the cold ground of the balcony between a couple of uncomfortable naps. Not even a bit.

And those words now seemed to have settled in a comfortable place in his mind. They still made him anxious and uncertain, but they finally made some sense now that he could see them properly.

 _You're in love with Wooseok_.

Yuto was in love with Wooseok.

And nothing else mattered.

 

 

 

When Yuto was sixteen, he fell in love.

Or at least that's what he thought at the time.

The boy was an exchange student from Japan, just like him. Years after those troubled weeks of dating, Yuto would only remember his name because it resembled his own, so it was hard to be forgotten. Nakamoto Yuta, who was a few years older, had the ability to make anyone fall in love without even realizing it. Yuto was just Lucky to make the boy fall in love with him too.

Yuta was a good kisser. He had a soft voice. He was sweet and made Yuto feel appreciated enough. Being with him was like forgetting that reality was important.

It took too little for the whole dating thing to become unbearable for Yuto, though. Yuta was still as sweet and kind as always, but most of that first charm had lost itself too quickly, turning into impatience and distress. Yuto took little more than a month of forced dates and empty caresses, trying to bring back that overwhelming crush from the first time, only to realize that Nakamoto Yuta only had one flaw, but it was one that he definitely couldn’t ignore.

He wasn’t Jung Wooseok.

Yuta’s hands didn’t feel as comfortable as Wooseok’s did in his. Not even his arms or his hugs or his smile, and Yuto could only wonder what Wooseok’s kisses would feel like. The worst part was that he wanted to know. He wanted to know so bad.

Breaking up with Yuta in the empty parking lot of their school was fool of guilt and regret, but the predominant feeling was _relief_.

When Wooseok heard the news, an optimistic part of Yuto hoped that he’d smile. That he’d be happy despite everything, that he’d realize that Yuto only had eyes for him.

Instead, he was met with a frown.

“Something told you guys wouldn’t last,” Wooseok admitted, his expression unfathomable.

That should have been the first sign. It was a huge stop sign, but Yuto completely ignored it. He decided he didn’t have much more time to lose. He was afraid of all the things that could go wrong, of how the healing process would be painful if his expectations were thrown out of the window. He knew that Wooseok liked boys as much as himself - they'd spent too much time talking about the handsome veterans to say otherwise - then maybe, just maybe, Yuto wasn’t so helpless.

He had a plan. It was cliché and silly, the kind of thing that would embarrass him if he were in his right mind - which was definitely not the case - but it was better than nothing. Even Hyunggu was pulled into the middle of the mess at the time, being responsible for calming Yuto's nerves whenever he got too excited about confessing his feelings.

Hyunggu, coincidentally, was a fine example that Yuto's feelings were not the only ones being trampled in the middle of it all. But he was too good to leave his friend helpless.

There was a box of chocolates, a playlist for the two of them to listen under that huge tree in the courtyard as they shared their lunch (sushi made by Yuto himself), and Yuto gathered all the courage he had to say the things he had been keeping in his chest for Wooseok all that time.

But, apparently, fate had a better idea.

"Hey, I'm not having lunch with you today, if you do not mind," Wooseok said in one of their Geography classes. He had that troublesome smile on his face.

“What?” Yuto blinked, trying not to appear so obviously disappointed with his plans being suddenly frustrated. "What are you up to?"

"I've been thinking about you and Yuta lately," Wooseok began.

Yuto arched an eyebrow.

"It's been almost two months since we've broke up," he recalled, grimacing at his memory. "Why would you be thinking about it?"

"I know," Wooseok rolled his eyes. "I was just thinking that I should stop waiting, too."

“Wait for what?” Yuto questioned.

The taller one was slow to answer, looking more thoughtful than hesitant. When he finally turned to Yuto again, there was a very small smile on his face.

"A sign of the Universe, I think," he replied, sarcasm flushing his voice. "But that's bullshit, don’t you agree? Waiting for something that won’t come, I mean.”

"You're not making any sense at all," Yuto wheezed, rolling his eyes in a vain attempt to hide his nervousness.

Wooseok laughed.

"I have a date," he said, shrugging as he lowered his eyes, scribbling something on the blank sheet of his notebook to disguise his embarrassment. He raised his face slightly to watch Yuto with a thin smile. “Awesome, um?”

And then Yuto had to sit there for a few minutes, listening and listening as Wooseok talked about his plan to sneak over the fence at the back of the school courtyard and go meet some girl from another school or something – their sixth date that month, which Yuto _could_ have noticed if he wasn’t so entertained with his own fairytales.

"I didn’t say anything before because I wanted to make sure it would work out, you know?" Wooseok smiled. It wasn’t a full bright smile. Or maybe it was Yuto imagination, because he really wished it wasn’t a full bright smile.

Yuto felt his feet slipping from reality for a moment, ignoring the one-sided conversation. He thought about those dumb chocolates in his backpack. He thought of throwing them in the nearest trash can, but they'd had been too expensive to waste them that way. He didn’t hear the girl's name in any of the times Wooseok mentioned her and didn’t care.

He went home alone for the first time in a few months that day, but pretended it didn’t matter either. It was Friday and Yuto was hurt, but his first reaction was to feel anger: of whom, however, he had no idea. He watched some cheap drama movie to have a reason to feel sad and ate more packets of instant noodles than the recommended for a teenager.

Wooseok asked if they were going to play some new videogame at the Jung's house on Saturday, but Yuto refused it, claiming that he was too tired for such bullshit, sparing no rudeness in his voice. He didn’t care if Wooseok didn’t understand. He was angry and hurt, and it didn’t matter if it was only his fault for harboring hopeless fantasies.

Hyunggu helped him eat the damn chocolates and have a company over lunch on Monday while Wooseok got confused, wondering why his best friend was giving him such a cold treatment. But he forced himself not to care. Not when it had become more than clear to Wooseok that he wasn’t as dignified to be a priority in Yuto’s life as he had thought.

Oh, teenage drama.

It was like this for a few weeks, a silent confusion of disagreements and resentments being forcefully ignored. But the truth was that no matter how much Yuto enjoyed spending his afternoons with Hyunggu wandering around the city mall, how much Hwitaek and Hyojong’s company was pleasant during lunch or how funny Shinwon was all the time, he still missed Wooseok, even if they were nothing but the best friends in the world. Even if he expected them to be more than that.

But even so, even though every little part of Yuto missed his dumb best friend, he was too prideful. He knew that he had done wrong by leaving Wooseok in the dark, he knew he had probably been too selfish. But it had been a few days since he had been ignoring Jung's messages and calls, and now Yuto simply didn’t know how to go back and explain that sudden outbreak.

Yuto and Wooseok had P.E. together and always ended up getting on the same team on Friday when the sport of the day was baseball. Yuto did everything he could to keep some distance between them throughout the game, ignoring Wooseok's inquisitive eyes on him all the time, pretending to be entertained as he followed Hyunggu from one side of the field to the other, unable to focus on the game whatsoever.

But it wasn’t the perfect plan. Wooseok eventually became impatient enough to pull Yuto to the side by the arm, not really delicately, his eyes wide open like he was ready to punch Yuto and cry right after.

"Yuto-yah, you punk, stop ignoring me," he said, making an annoyed pout. It wasn’t what Yuto expected. "If you hate me, you can punch me in the face, I don’t care, but don’t pretend I'm invisible or non-existent. What’s wrong with you?!"

And Yuto just had to smile. He waited so many days for that. Relief swept over his chest, also taking away the anxiety that had built up over the time.

“I don’t hate you, Wooseok-ah,” he murmured, guiltily lowering his eyes to his feet.

Wooseok let out a loud breath. He sounded _so_ annoyed, but there was relief all over his face too, like he just expected Yuto to state him as his nemesis.

“Great. So I’ll hug you now, you fool”.

And they hugged, receiving a couple of weird looks and round of applauses from Hyunggu. Yuto felt that tightness in his stomach, the feelings still too real and too painful to ignore. But it didn’t mean he couldn’t try. Or at least pretend.

While Wooseok demanded that Yuto spent the rest of the week in his house, Yuto decided that he would bury any feelings for Wooseok that were not merely platonic, friendship related. He would ignore the chill in his stomach every time Wooseok touched him until the sensation completely faded away. He would ignore the jealousy whenever Wooseok commented on someone with a dreamy smile on his face.

Yuto knew very well: he had to accept that those smiles would never be because of him. If he kept pretending that those feelings didn’t exist, one day or another they would just vanish and stop bothering him so much.

Right?

(Answer= Wrong)

 

 

 

Wooseok knew he was an idiot. And if he ever doubted himself, Shinwon would be ready to gladly reassure him.

"You're an idiot," He said, shaking his head in disgust.

Wooseok sighed.

It was the day after the shorter boy’s party, and he had muscle pain all over his body from last night’s cuddle session. The other boys were busy cleaning the apartment, like the good friends they were, but Wooseok had offered to go and buy breakfast for everyone, and since Shinwon was the only one completely sober and with a driver’s license, they had made their way to the nearest bakery.

“I know,” Wooseok replied, holding back an eye roll.

“Almost confessed while _drunk_ ,” Shinwon insisted.

“I know...”

“Imagine the humiliation!”

“Shinwon, _please_.”

They were in line to get their drinks. Wooseok carried the phone with a huge list of the boys' requests in one hand and Hwitaek's credit card in the other.

Shinwon sighed.

"Okay, sorry," he said, shaking his head. "It's just... You guys are so complicated, for God's sake. If you like him, shit, I don’t know, pin Yuto to the wall and let the rest happen, it's not that difficult.”

Wooseok raised an eyebrow.

"Is that what you did to Hyunggu yesterday?" He teased.

He got punched in the shoulder as an answer.

“Hey!” Wooseok complained, rubbing the sore spot on his arm.

"Don’t stick your nose where it doesn't belong, Wooseok-ah," Shinwon warned, not really threatening, his cheeks slightly flushed.

"But you stick yours in my belongings _all the time_ ," Wooseok complained. “How is this fair?”

Shinwon twisted his nose at the sentence.

“The trouble began when _your_ little boyfriend,” the eldest pointed an accusatory finger at him “Decided to take away the chastity of _my_ future boyfriend.”

This time Wooseok didn’t suppress an upset look.

"Chastity, yeah, I know," he snorted, striding forward. "You act like we haven’t done the same thing.”

"It was not the same thing, idiot, it was just a game and we were in _high school_.” Shinwon snorted. “Will you tell me you weren’t jealous of those two either?” He narrowed his eyes. "I know you well, brat. You're too much of a coward to approach Yuto the way you want, but you get all whiny when someone else does it.”

Wooseok almost returned Shinwon's punch, but the moment was spoiled when the cashier called for the next customers and they had to end the stupid argument to order their breakfast.

When they were already holding three bags of doughnuts, muffins, croissants, and the variants, as well as ten different types of hot beverages, they left for Shinwon's car in silence. Over the nauseating hangover in his stomach, Wooseok could feel the insistent, familiar anxiety pressing into his chest, swelling his lungs, wrapping his spine up with random chills.

He sighed as Shinwon fastened his seat belt.

"I don’t know what to do now, hyung.”

Shinwon looked at him, eyebrows arched in surprise by the helpless tone of the younger boy.

"Did you just call me hyung?" He blinked. "It really must be serious.”

Wooseok sighed, buried his face in his hands in pure frustration and sighed loudly.

"Okay, sorry," Shinwon apologized, holding out a hesitant hand to stroke his dongsaeng's shoulder. He wasn’t very good at dealing with others’ feelings, but he could always do his best, right? “Look, Wooseok… You've known Yuto for so long, you know? You’re not so stupid as not to notice the way he looks at you.”

Wooseok glanced suspiciously at the other through his fingers.

“What do you mean?” He whispered.

Shinwon opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“Oh, you _are_ so stupid,” He nodded once to himself in disbelief. “Boy, I mean, if my best friend, on who I undeniably had more than a big ass crush on for my whole life, looked at me like that, I’d be force to take him to bed for once. You’re _so_ stupid.”

"I'm not sure I should trust your perception anyway, hyung," Wooseok said honestly, trying to ignore the burning sensation on his cheeks.

"Well, you don’t have many options now, do you?" Shinwon rolled his eyes. “Ungrateful brat.”

Wooseok let out a low laugh, which Shinwon returned with a smile.

"Just do what you know you have to do, kid," he advised, starting the car. "If you lose even more time, he may give up waiting for you."

"Why do _I_ have to do something?" Wooseok questioned. "If Yuto liked me that much he would have done something by this point… I think.”

“Of course not,” Shinwon exclaimed. “He’s a coward! Just like you are!”

“Rude,” Wooseok pouted.

"It’s up to you being the _less coward one_ , kid,” Shinwon confided, like he was delivering the most valuable piece of advice.

Wooseok sighed, annoyed because Shinwon was right and he didn’t like being so helpless that the only source of actual help was that hyung. But, as he had said, Wooseok didn’t really have many options. Hwitaek and Hyojong hyung would scold him, Hongseok and Jinho would probably demand that Wooseok took action, always too intrusive in their dongsaeng’s affairs, and Yanan and Changgu were too romantic for their own good, which was not really Wooseok’s style. He was a basic dude, okay.

And then there was Shinwon, who was horrible with advices but whose own interests eventually crossed Wooseok's. It was a win-win situation.

"Hyunggu likes Yuto, you know," Shinwon had said the previous day, shoving a glass of cola in Wooseok’s direction. "He makes a lot of effort not to make it obvious, but he's as great as you two when it comes to hiding his feelings.”

Wooseok had sighed. He knew it, yes. Of course he knew it, it was nothing new. And he liked Hyunggu, really, he was an amazing guy, but Wooseok didn’t like the idea of fighting for Yuto's attention with anyone, let alone for his feelings. For a long time he had convinced himself that Yuto could have other friends, that it did no harm because at the end of it all they would still be the bestest friends ever.

But then he realized. He noticed how the affection on Hyunggu's face was too much like his own, he realized that the sickening feeling in his stomach whenever the boy got too close to Yuto wasn’t harmless in any way. And he was stupid, he knew he was, but even after all those years he had no idea how much he wanted to kiss Yuto.

Until someone else got in line, a person who looked at Yuto the way Wooseok looked, and suddenly that was all he could think of. Of that empty place in Yuto's life he had always thought that somehow would be kept reserved for him. In times when falling in love with other people hadn’t been as intense as falling in love with Yuto every day, that place was his only hope.

And now, perhaps a little bit driven despair, he could only think that his time was running out. That even the Universe was getting tired of waiting for an attitude, that at any moment he could ruin everything.

"Hyung, leave me here at the mall," he said without thinking.

“What?” Shinwon asked, but he was already moving to the road side. “Why?”

"I need to do something before I go back," Wooseok explained, already opening the door. "Tell the others I came home to get something, I don’t know. See you later!”

Before Shinwon could complain or question him, Wooseok jumped out of the car and ran inside of the parking lot. He didn’t quite know what was on his mind or what he wanted exactly. Advice? To make sure he wasn’t about to fail miserably and get hurt for the rest of his life? He had no idea, but there he was: hungover, his messy hair hidden under a beanie he borrowed from Shinwon and his heart in his hands.

He went to the east wing of the parking lot, already thinking about everything he’d tell Sorn. _You were right. Happy? Now tell me what to do to make my best friend love me back._

But the tent was no longer there. The circus had also disappeared.

The show was over.

He sat down at one of the benches at the entrance. The sky was cloudy that day, and Wooseok couldn’t help but feeling like it was frowning at him.

He sighed. Wooseok stayed there, defeated, sipping at his drink with negative enthusiasm. He didn’t want to go back to Shinwon’s apartment and admit he was a fool. He just stayed like that, pretending he didn’t exist in that dimension, that he was only an innocent amoeba.

“Wooseok?”

He looked up, startled, to see Yuto standing there against the poor sunlight, looking at Wooseok as if he was some kind of weird animal.

“Yuto? How did you know...?”

"Shinwon hyung told me that you—" He stopped in mid-sentence. "What are you doing here, Wooseok?"

Wooseok swallowed, too embarrassed to admit the truth. _I came here to see if there’s any chance that you can reciprocate my feelings because Shinwon hyung said I’m a coward and I really wouldn’t dare to ask it to your face_.

He snorted.

"The circus is gone." That was all he said, his tone depressing.

Yuto laughed. It was an incredulous laugh, as if he didn’t believe in Wooseok's stupidity, but there was a warm twinge of affection behind it.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" He said, putting his hands on Wooseok's cheeks and lifting his face.

Yuto was smiling. Wooseok held his breath.

“Uh, I… Yeah.”

"Because of you, my breakfast is getting cold," Yuto continued, not paying attention. He picked up his hands and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "And you owe me a couple won because Shinwon hyung didn’t want to bring me by car so I had to hail a cab to come and pick you up."

Wooseok stared at him as Yuto called for another taxi. In his strange yellow sweater and light jeans, the kind of clothing he didn’t usually wear unless he was forced to, he was a smear of heat against the gray, massive parking lot. Like he was the literal sun on that particular morning. Wooseok had always known that Adachi Yuto was the most handsome boy in the world, and his younger sister fully agreed, but he never got tired of rediscovering it every time he actually looked at Yuto.

His dark hair, his naturally tanned skin, his face sculpted by some ancient divinity of beauty and all good things in the world. Everything about him was absolutely perfect, from the earrings in his perfect ears to his perfect lips and his perfect hands and... Everything.

Wooseok sighed, hoping that the muffled air of the overcast morning gave him some inexistent courage.

"Yuto, why did you come here?"

"Shinwon hyung said you were acting kind of weird." Yuto blinked, surprised at the question. "You shouldn’t be wandering around when you’re hungover, dumbass.”

"No, I mean..." Wooseok bit his lip. "You didn’t have to. I was just... You don’t have to worry so much about me.”

Yuto blinked, his expression dropping for a second.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” He was being sarcastic, but there was a slight twinge of fear in his tone.

“No! It’s not it.” Wooseok hurried to correct himself. “It's just that you're always worrying about me, we're always together and...”

"Is that your way of saying I'm annoying?" Yuto laughed, more exhaling than a real laugh. "I don’t think I should have come, then."

Wooseok got up quickly. How could he be so stupid with words?

“ _Yuto_.”

The other looked surprised by the action. He took a step back, surprised, but it didn’t help much, because Wooseok also took a few steps forward, enough to make them mere inches away.

Wooseok wasn’t quite sure where that courage came from, but he suspected that more than courage it was the fear that made him move his hands and intertwine Yuto's fingers with his in a single slick move. Fear of being late, of being too late, of missing out on the slightest chances of Yuto not hating the idea of reciprocating Wooseok's feelings even a little bit.

"Oh," Yuto whispered, surprised when Wooseok interlaced their fingers, staring up at him with wide eyes.

Wooseok sucked in a long breath.

"You're not annoying," he reassured.

“Ok.” Yuto’s voice was barely audible.

And Wooseok wasn’t sure how to take the next step, but he didn’t have to, because just then the phone in Yuto's free hand let out loud beeps that indicated a sequence of new messages.

"It’s the cab driver," Yuto said, taking a step back hesitantly, still wide eyed. "He's at the main entrance. We should…”

Wooseok nodded, thrusting his hands into his pockets, his face burning so much he felt like could really melt right then and there.

“Yeah, sure.”

And he didn’t quite know what that meant, what that situation implied, or where he'd put his stupid and embarrassed face from now on, having to spend fifteen minutes in a taxi next to Yuto after deliberately trying to kiss him.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

How could Wooseok be so fucking clumsy when it came to Yuto? How could he be so cluttered with his own feelings, so careless, so undeniably passionate and anxious that everything about Yuto became so complicated?

He sighed as they walked through the gates. He took one last look at the almost empty parking lot, the very place where everything had gotten a little more complicated than usual, where the Universe seemed to decide to intervene, seeing that neither of them would take the first step.

Wooseok groaned to himself. He wished he was able to, somehow, thank that psychic for that little push in the right direction (or at least he hoped so). For making him realize that his feelings were real and urgent, and not the result of his imagination, like he was trying so hard to convince himself.

 _That_ was the problem. His feelings for Yuto were real and concrete, incredible and gigantic and frightening. And Shinwon was right, Wooseok _was_ too much of a coward to do anything about it. Too much of a coward to take those steps between them and do what he had to do.

The atmosphere in the taxi was more than embarrassing. Wooseok looked out of the window all the time and Yuto seemed focused on something on his cell phone, barely exchanging words or looks. It was stifling, but there wasn’t much to do about, was there?

Wooseok didn’t quite know how to feel. Rejected? Hopeful? He had no idea. But he was certainly afraid of the consequences.

He wanted to punch Shinwon.

When they got to the apartment, it was time to help with the cleaning. Wooseok and Yuto where pushed to the kitchen to wash the dishes and throw the trash away, so they did just that.

“Yuto, about that...” Wooseok tried, his hands impatiently trying to get a greasy stain out of a plate. He tentatively looked Yuto in the eyes.

"We'll get that done by the time we get home," he said, smiling like those rare times Wooseok had convinced him to get off the line somehow. Kind of insolently, just a little bit naughty.

Wooseok blinked, surprised. He watched as Yuto turned around and left the kitchen, joining the others, who were trying to decide between watching a movie, taking a well-deserved nap, or spending the morning in the condo pool.

He stood in the kitchen, staring at the freshly washed dishes as he tried to get his thoughts in order. He didn’t know how long he had stood there, but at some point Shinwon appeared on the counter, laughing at his still shocked expression.

"You are so fucking welcome, kid."

 

 

 

Yuto had no idea how that happened.

In one moment he was muttering about the slow elevator in their building, and then a couple of minutes later he was, somehow, being pushed against the locked door of his room and Wooseok was everything in vision field.

“Yuto, I’m about to kiss you,” he warned. “Like, for real”.

“Yeah…” He replied dumbly.

“And our friendship will probably never be the same after that.”

“Yeah.”

“So?”

“I don’t care.”

Wooseok smiled thinly. It was that evil smile, which Yuto used to fear so much and always meant _trouble_ , but this time he didn’t care. Yuto wanted trouble, and he wanted fast.

“That’s not very romantic,” Wooseok said, his eyes skirting through Yuto’s face with something surprisingly fond beneath them.

“We’ve been to many dates already, Wooseok, for God’s sake,” he grunted, not really angry. The anxiousness was just unbearable. He sighed slowly, his tone softening with each word. “Just… kiss me.”

And, fortunately, Wooseok didn’t waste any more time. Out of sheer instinct, Yuto closed his eyes as he approached, not only with his whole body, any space between them now inexistent. And Yuto really shouldn’t be surprised at this point, he shouldn’t feel his skin burn at all the little spots where it met Wooseok’s, but it was out of his control, just like the sweet relief that spread across his chest.

Wooseok’s lips were a weird but welcome experience. They were warm and soft and wonderful, just like him, but were also very unfamiliar. As much as Yuto felt like he knew every little bit of Wooseok like the back of his hand, he could never be prepared for _that_. For how his senses were completely numb as his body did all the _feeling_ , as he ventured into this newly discovered part of Wooseok, the side that Yuto wanted, just like he wanted.

It was slow and intense and hesitant and so, so overwhelming. If it wasn’t for Wooseok’s body wonderfully pressed against his, Yuto would probably melt. He felt his body heat up for a billion reasons, his mind blank and full at the same time. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a new alternative Universe being created right then and there, and it was _delicious_.

“Not to sound cheesy, but—” Wooseok breathed heavily, moving away just enough so he could look into Yuto’s eyes. “I’ve been waiting for this since I became aware of all the kissing stuff.”

“How can you be so sweet and simultaneously ruin the mood like that,” Yuto wheezed.

Wooseok laughed, lowering his head in embarrassment, and buried his face in the curve of Yuto’s neck. He laughed once more, his hot breath sending chills down Yuto’s spine. He had to use all the strength in his weak being to keep himself from shuddering embarrassingly.

“What do we do now?” Yuto asked, his voice so soft and low that it felt distant even for him.

He didn’t mind staying there all day, making up for his 16-year-old self, with Wooseok as close as possible, just his hands around him. But if he was honest, Yuto wanted more. He wanted more of Wooseok’s lips and hands and touch to be precise, so tired of waiting for that so-called _right moment_.

Wooseok didn’t answer. Not with words, at least. When Yuto was starting to get worried about the other’s silence, he felt Wooseok’s lips in his neck. He held his breath as Wooseok kissed his throat and his jaw with lukewarm, slow little kisses, so sweet and delicate that he could only sigh at the feeling. It felt like they had all the time in the world, but Yuto knew they had wasted a lot of it already.

“Wooseok,” he called.

“Um?” The boy looked up, a loose smile in his face.

“How did you decide that...? I mean _notice_ that… Hmm—”

"What, that I wanted to kiss you?" Wooseok tilted his head. “It wasn’t _difficult_ , you know.”

"Not that." Yuto suppressed a smile. He toyed with the collar of the jacket Wooseok was wearing, the one they bought together days ago. "I want to know if, um, you _just_ want to kiss me or..."

He left the sentence hanging unfinished in the air, his face flushed, too shy to pronounce the right words. Fortunately, Wooseok understood.

"I like you, Yuto.” He said, low and slow. “So much. I don’t even care if you don’t want to kiss me back, I just— I like you so much! It’s so good to say it out loud, _God_. I like you as a non-best friend, you see?!”

Yuto smiled so big his face almost couldn’t hold it. He slapped Wooseok in the chest, and the taller boy smiled, pushing them down on one of the beds so they could be comfortable, Yuto over his lap as their laughter faded in soft, dreamy smiles.

“I like you too,” Yuto replied tentatively, his words painfully hesitant. He held his breath immediately, waiting for some sun explosions or any phenomenon of the type, but nothing happened besides the supernova that burst into Wooseok’s eyes. But it didn’t matter. Yuto had always thought Wooseok’s eyes were the Universe’s best creations, anyway.

“Wow,” He said.

“It really feels good to say it out loud,” Yuto agreed, laughing lightly.

Wooseok’s hands holding him by the waist felt familiar in a strange way, like an improved version of fingertips he knew all too well. His face was bright and beautiful, just as always, but now, when Yuto felt the urge leave little kisses all over it, he just _did_ , because the alarms setting of in his head were just irrelevant noise he could ignore.

“I feel so lucky right now,” Wooseok pouted, laying his head on Yuto’s chest and hugging him closer.

“Do you believe in luck now?” Yuto laughed, letting his hands slide between Wooseok’s soft hair. “Should we call Sorn and thank her? Wait, was that why you were at the mall today?”

The other’s silence was enough of an answer.

“Don’t laugh at me,” He warned, defensive.

“I wouldn’t,” Yuto assured. “Actually, I did the same a couple days ago. She told me to be honest with myself and to wear yellow clothes.”

Wooseok looked up at him.

“It makes so much sense now,” he realized. “Is _that_ why you have been avoiding me this whole time? And I thought _I_ was a coward!”

“ _Hey_ ,” Yuto protested. “You know conflicts make me anxious!”

Wooseok narrowed his eyes.

“Wait, I’m looking back at our friendship and how you always started acting weird out of nowhere,” He voiced. “Do you like me that much, Adachi?”

“Shut up!” Yuto put his hands over Wooseok’s mouth, preventing him from speaking. His cheeks had a warm flush, but he smiled. “I have a suggestion.”

“I’m listening,” Wooseok said, his words muffled by Yuto’s hands.

“How about we make out in honor of our repressed teenager selves,” He prompted. “And talk about embarrassing stuff later?”

A reply wasn’t required. Yuto was soon being pressed against the mattress, Wooseok’s body holding him in place as he risked more and more in those unknown places outside their friendship’s boundaries.

It was good and nice and hot and it was Wooseok. It was all Yuto had been waiting for and _more_.

 

 

 

 

Their first official date was in an Wednesday night, when there was a 50% off sale in the movie theater. It was a last minute event; they were both very exhausted from their mid-terms, hadn’t eaten anything cooked since last month and were willing to pay a couple of bucks to watch some dumb Western movie if that was what it took for them to relax outside the confines of their dorm.

It all began when Yuto said jokingly:

“How do you expect me to call you my boyfriend when all you do is asking for kisses all the time and never doing the nice stuff?”

Ends up _the nice stuff_ , in their point of view, was getting all the expensive sweets at the candy store before watching a movie and cuddling more than paying attention to it.

When they got in line to buy their tickets, however, they were greeted with a familiar face. Of course, wearing much less make up and just a single septum piercing, but still, a face that Yuto would never forget.

“Sorn?” Wooseok was the first one to voice his surprise. “Is that really you?”

“Oh, Wooseok! What a delight!” She smiled brightly, sending off a very different vibe from when she literally had their fates in her hands. “And you brought your boyfriend, wow, congratulations!”

“Even a fortune teller needs some extra these days, I suppose,” he laughed, looking genuinely happy to see the girl.

Sorn repressed a smile.

“You guys really believed I was some kind of psychic, didn’t you?” She laughed softly. “Cute.”

Yuto and Wooseok exchanged a look.

“What?” They asked in unison.

“A girl needs money, you know?” She shrugged. “I’m a Performing Arts major, guys, I need _money_. They were willing to pay me enough if I was really convincing, so, yeah, I had nothing to lose. Sorry for, um, fooling you with my generic predictions and stuff. But, hey, you’re together now! Seems like I made some good in this world for once, right?”

“You really fooled us,” Yuto confirmed, perplex. “I actually thought… Oh, Gosh.”

Sorn smiled even brighter. She was prettier without all that garish yellow eyeshadow.

“That’s my job, isn’t it?” She said smugly. “I mean, that _was_ my job. Now my job is selling movie tickets. Do you guys want 3D?”

“No, thanks,” Yuto pointed at his eyeglasses. “We should have lunch together some day, Sorn—”

“Call me noona, please.” She raised an eyebrow.

“ _Noona_.”

“Great, I’d love it!” She held her hand out, like she was ready to read their (fake) future. “Give me your phone so I can give you my number. It’s not a fake one, I swear.”

As Wooseok handed her his own phone, Yuto remembered all of those false _signs of the Universe_. Changgu’s roses, the Valentine’s Day chocolates, the mistletoe at the Jung’s house, everything they had worked so hard to ignore – or at least they thought so. A part of him wanted them to really be some kind of divine warnings. He wanted the cosmos to be as fond of the idea of them being together as he was, fond enough to give them a little impatient push.

As they were moving away from the short line, already holding hands and smiling at each other like the disgusting couple they were, Wooseok turned back suddenly and waved frantically.

“Sorn noona!” He said. The girl raised an eyebrow at him. “Thank you so much!”

“Don’t thank _me_ , kid, I’m just a fake fortune teller,” she answered, smiling thinly, but sounding honest. “Thank yourself for being stupid enough to believe me!”

**Author's Note:**

> ayyy i guess things are way too rushed near the end but sometimes life's like that you know not everything is slowburn some things are just FUN geez 
> 
> let's talk about shinwon in the comments section how about that hmm? it'd be nice if you left kudos too hehehe
> 
> find me on twitter @kiwonsoft so we can all be friends yaY bye


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